The Dangerous Liaisons Tokyo (7/8)
Jan. 21st, 2015 10:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wendyjolyTitle : The Dangerous Liaisons Tokyo
Author : WendyJoly
Rating : NC-17
Pairing : Various but mainly Sakumoto
Beta : The wonderful![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jtaytt ♥
Genre : Schemes, university and love
Summary : Masaki Aiba enters the prestigious Tokyo U and becomes the stake of a game he totally ignores.
Note : This story is a very freely adapted version of one of my ever favourite book, “Les Liaisons Dangereuses” by Choderlos de Laclos.
CHAPTER 7
“It’s done. I left Sakurai.”
Jun began to walk around the living room restlessly.
This little house in the outskirt was far from his luxurious manor but it was perfect for their discreet rendezvous. No chance to come across someone from their elite university in this middle-class district.
Nino sat quietly on the couch, observing his mate struggling with his thoughts. He knew exactly what moved this tortured mind and the serene gaze he was trying to show didn’t fool him a second.
“Could you sit down please, my head is already dizzy.”
Jun stared at him, surprised, as if he was noticing Nino’s presence by his side. He pulled himself together and sat on the couch graciously, lighting a cigarette.
“So, you left him?”
“Yesterday.”
“Congratulation, I thought you won’t be able to get over this silly crush…what did he say?”
“That he loves me.”
“As expected. What else?”
“Almost nothing. He’s a man of dignity you know, he’s reserved…he keeps his pain to himself.”
“What do you intend to do now?”
“Don’t know…I thought I could wait few days to apologize. I know he will welcome me with open arms. It will be a pleasure to play with him again.”
Nino burst out laughing.
“What? Why are you laughing?” hissed Jun vexed.
“Who do you think you’re talking to? I know you; keep your sale talks for someone else…”
“What are you talking about?”
“You will take him back to torture him? Really? I rather believe you want to come back to him because he’s under your skin and the sole idea of not sharing his bed anymore tortures you, only you…”
“Absolutely not.”
“You love your ordinary man, you can tell me.”
“Never.”
“Jun, look at me. You sacrificed him to not lose face. You’re scared that I mocked you, to the extent that you accepted to hurt the only person you ever love sincerely.”
“I don’t love him.”
“You love him as much as a tortured mind like yours is able to love. You missed the chance to be appeased, what can I say…I could tell you I warned you, but it would be petty.”
“You know what I think?”
“Do tell me.”
“You’re trying to divert my attention in order not to honour our bet.”
“That’s why you’re here today?”
“Exactly.” said Jun tapping the place by his side.
“Are you kidding me? You can’t believe I’m gonna sleep with you because of a bet?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Be honest. If I had won, would you have shaved your head?”
“But I won!”
“That’s another problem!”
Nino’s voice was suddenly dead serious when Jun’s face was misshaped with anger.
“I want you to honour our fucking bet.”
“Or?”
“Are you challenging me? Don’t do that Nino, you’ll regret it.”
They gauged each other for a while then Nino laughed.
joyfully
“You want to fuck me…very well…if it makes you happy.”
Nino laid down on the couch, readjusting his towel then parted his legs.
He grabbed a video games magazine and began to skim it absentmindedly. After a few second he gazed at Jun, startled.
“Oh, excuse me, should I be on all four? What do you prefer?”
Jun sighed, his anger lowered and kneeled at Nino’s feet.
“Nino, excuse me. That’s not what I wished…you know you’re different. If you would~”
“If I would?” said Nino, straightening, gazing at Jun straightforwardly.
“I have never met someone like you. Why don’t we simply stop playing? Don’t you get tired of it? Why should we look for someone else since we found each other?”
“You want us to be a couple?” said Nino in an undertone with emotion.
“Yeah, that’s what I want.” smiled Jun “You are so special. We’re meant to be together…Nino…”
Nino leaned forward and kissed Jun softly. He kissed his chin and followed he curve of his chin, smiling when Jun moaned because he was nibbling his earlobe.
“Nino…I want you so much…”
The young man cupped his face, observing Jun attentively, reading an obvious sincerity in his eyes. Tears blurred his gaze.
“I waited for those words for so long…I dreamt of it for ages. This is the most beautiful day of my life…can I tell you a secret?”
Jun nodded with a smile and watched Nino as he climbed the stairs then followed him. At last. He knew where they headed since his bedroom was the only one upstairs.
The door was ajar and while he was taking off his jacket he opened it completely to see that Nino climbed into his bed.
But he wasn’t alone.
Ohno was totally naked on the bed and he leaped on his feet to cover himself with a sheet.
Jun’s gaze darkened.
He heard Nino’s mocking laugher and felt as if he had been just stabbed.
“What does it means?” hissed Jun.
“It means you have no right on me. You want for us to be a couple?! How sweet…but tell me, how long before the first mutual betrayal? It’s in our nature, don’t you understand? Fortunately I’m not as naïve as you. I cheated for pleasure, not for necessity and I won’t allow anyone to tell me what to do and ask me what I’m doing when he’s not around. No-one-owns-me. Especially not a guy who is crazy about someone else.”
Nino’s face was now misshaped by anger.
“Is it your last word?”
“It is.”
“Nino. I warn you, if you don’t comply now, it will be war between us.”
“Okay. Let the war begin.” susurrated Nino smiling dangerously.
=+=
Jun came back home furious as ever. He devastated the living room, which was the first room on his way, stopping only out of tiredness and pain.
The feeling of being been deceived drove him crazy…it won’t be that easy. Nino would pay for this.
One thing was for sure, if he had to fall, the President of the students would fall from higher.
He poured a glass of whisky, decided to be dead drunk before the end of the night to forget what had haunted him. Jun repeated again and again that he should go out. To the club or the Fanbangers and laughed about those bullshits but he couldn’t.
He couldn’t erase the vision of Sho’s face when he realized what monster he really was. The pain. The infinite sadness. But…no disappointment. As if he knew. As if he expected it. Was he so transparent? And more important, if he knew, why did he accept him?
And Nino.
Nino who said that he was in love with Sho. Was he right? Against all odds, did he really fall for his prey? Impossible…men like him didn’t fall in love. Love was a too pure feeling for a hunter. So why? Why did he feel the urge to run to Sho and beg him for forgiveness?
He poured another drink and drank as fast as possible, waiting for the soothing numbness.
“Sir?”
“Hm?”
“He’s here. Again.”
Jun walked to the panoramic window and saw him leaning against the pillar in the garden. Sakurai Sho.
Soon after Jun left the dormitory, Sho knocked at his door asking for him and when Jun refused, he decided to wait.
Yet, it was out of question…what could happen if he opened his door? He would have to live this dreadful separation again …impossible.
“Leave him alone.”
Jun closed the curtain and drank until the moment he fell asleep on the couch.
The next day he stayed at home, asking not to be disturbed.
Enclosed in the library close to the fireplace, a book in the hand, he tried to not overthink about his shitty life.
He barely heard the first drop of rain…but soon it was a tempest outside and he ran to the window. He was still here. Sat in a corner but he didn’t move at all. Jun spotted the dark silhouette who didn’t even try to struggle against the pouring rain.
“Open the door now!” He shouted to the butler who bowed then fetched an umbrella to exit the house.
From upstairs Jun saw Sho walking in and his heart skipped a beat. He crossed his gaze and melted. Yeah he was in love with him, it was so obvious. And the man facing him loved him too. Jun opened his arms and Sho climbed up the stairs in a rush to nestle against him, kissing him fiercely.
Jun held him tight, forgetting that he was now totally soaked and answered to the kiss feverishly. He finally felt alive again, blaming himself for the lost time and his foolish blindness.
He took Sho’s hand and dragged him to a guest room which he never slept, where he never met any of his lovers and undressed him near the fireplace to dry him.
“Idiot, you gonna catch a cold…” he whispered too happy to take care of him. He wrapped him into a fluffy towel and rubbed his body softly, glad to feel his skin getting warm, life inhabiting their two bodies again under his caresses.
Jun observed him and his heart constricted when he noticed the black circles, his thin face and his dreadful paleness.
“Sho, I’m so sorry…forgive me please…I would never hurt you. I swear. I love you so much. I love you so much.”
The words disappeared progressively on Sho’s skin, loving gestures replacing sweets promises.
Sho took Jun’s hand and dragged him to bed, undressing him brutally. Jun didn’t argue, too impatient to feel his skin against Sho’s, already rubbing their two perfectly erected virility.
Sho spread his legs, placing him between his tights and Jun grinned, kissing him again and again but when he tried to move away, Sho gripped his arm, squeezing it hard.
“I’ll be back right away; I’ll fetch a lubricant…”
But Sho didn’t release him, on contrary, he squeezed tighter and kissed him fiercely, biting him mercilessly, feeling on his lips Jun’s blood that was dripping from his wounded lips. He slid his hand between his thighs, grabbing his lover’s member to place it on his entrance.
Jun struggled a bit, moaning some “No” in Sho’s mouth, the terror of hurting him holding him back, too afraid not to give him pleasure…he never did this…no one loved him to that extent…it was terrifying and totally exciting.
So he gave up. Because he was a coward, because he desired him, because he was an egotist, because he loved him. He entered him keenly and hardly, losing himself with a big groan.
When he was entirely in him, he stopped, observing Sho’s face misshaped with pain, big beads of tears running along his cheeks but not a noise passed his lips. Jun pecked his face, drinking his pain, noticing with surprise that it wasn’t his lover’s tears but his. He moved softly, pleasure overwhelming him powerfully, carried away by an unknown and unexpected sensation, lost in Sho’s deep gaze.
Jun finally realized that it was him, only him…He was Sho’s. And Nino was right since the beginning. But in this very moment, he didn’t care at all and he would never care from now on. If he could keep Sho for him, against him, he won’t need anyone else…he held himself as much as he could, move slowly until the devastating climax.
He withdrew, wrapping his hand around Sho’s rigid shaft, pumping strong as he was taking his mouth deeper, caressing him until the moment he finally came, spreading his semen all over his stomach.
Jun fetched the towel and cleaned him tenderly, cautiously cleaning his thighs soiled with sperm and blood.
“Forgive me Sho, I didn't want to hurt you.”
He kissed Sho, putting his temple to the man's chest, listening with happiness the sound of his heart. Jun grabbed the blanket and covered their naked bodies. He fell asleep rapidly when he heard the quiet breathe of his lover.
When he woke up, three hours later, Jun patted the place by his side, and began to panic when his hand met nothing but emptiness. This bad feeling, this assertiveness that something irreversible had happened struck him violently.
“No...no...no!”
He jumped from his bed, dressed hastily, noticing the sun already high in the sky and without losing a second ran to the dormitory.
He ran as if his life was in stake until he reached Sho's bedroom and sighed with relief when he saw the open door.
“Sho, you scared me to death, I~”
“Hello, Matsumoto-san.”
Facing him, alone in the middle of the empty bedroom, Maki was closing a cardboard.
Everything began weeks earlier as she arrived in Osaka.
She received in her mailbox a message decorated with the university logo. Some bad joke she didn't pay attention at all. A initials game telling that unholy relationships were gangrening the school.
She threw the first message to trash bin immediately, but she received a second then a third, telling the adventures of a man called MJ who used to seduce innocent students. Maki was perfectly aware that Sho and Jun were the heroes of those few badly written lines, but she sincerely believed that people loved to soil even the purest virile friendship. Yet, a few days later when the lines left their place to a blur picture displaying Sho and Jun making out in the university library, she flailed.
“Our young and innocent S.S finally gave up to his friend M.J.? Seeing them in the library so attentive to each other's anatomy, we could have swear it...XO”
Her worse fears were true. She didn't dream this ambiguity in their relationship, the way Jun used to gaze at Sho...Sho...her gentle Sho.
Every evening, she talked to him, every evening he lied to her, playing the perfect boyfriend. As if he loved her.
What could she do? What a cheated woman could do against an unfaithful lover? It sounded like a bad movie...as she left to work afar, Sho enjoyed his freedom with a lustful man...they were surely mocking her, when they were in bed.
She had to go back in Tokyo immediately, she had to throw the pictures to Sho's face, telling him how disappointed she was, that she was turning her back to him, definitely. She gasped for air, her heart beat madly, an insane pain overwhelmed and she had to sit in order not to faint.
She sobbed for hours. Then she began to reason.
No...it was only her pain which blurred her mind. She knew Sho, she knew the man he really was. And Maki was convinced that he still loved her in spite of what he felt for the seducing rival. Matsumoto offered him everything she couldn't. But this couldn't last forever. She only had to wait. Matsumoto was not a trustful man and sooner or later he would show his true colour to Sho. And when he would reach the bottom, Sho would need her...
Maki closed the gates to her pride and sadness, in order for Sho not to notice the change in her behaviour. She would wait but would take advantage of the lost time to find the mysterious sender who enjoyed torturing his peers in the name of the morale. And this person would pay for this.
“Mochi mochi, Horikita Maki desu.”
“Maki-chan?”
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard a sob. She sat like a robot, waiting for the bad news.
“Oba-chan? How is Sho?”
“I don't know if I'm right to call you...but for the very first time in my life, I don't know what to do anymore...I don't know...”
“Tell me. I want to know.”
“Sorry. First I have to tell you that I feared making this phone call. Since you left, Sho fell in love with someone...I'm so sorry to tell you this.”
“Matsumoto-kun?”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
“I didn't see him since he figured that out, I think he's ashamed of himself. I knew their relationship was stormy but...last week I found him on my door steps, curled into a ball and crying. He told me the man left him, that he fooled him since the beginning. He doesn't speak anymore, he refuses to eat, he's suffering so much...I don't know what to do.”
“Where is he, Oba-chan?”
“I think he's at this Matsumoto’s place. He told me he had to see him. I know how painful it is to hear this, but you're the only one who can help him...yet you have the right to refuse. But I know you love him, sincerely, just like he loves you...”
“What can I do?”
“I'll look for him and I'll bring him at my place. Rather at his place, I'll explain to you...”
“I'm gonna help him. Of course, I'm gonna help him.”
Maki heard the sigh of relief on the other side.
“Maki-chan, thank you so much.”
“I'll be in the next shinkansen, I guess I'll be in Tokyo around eleven.”
“I'll be at the station.”
“Ja'”
Maki hung up and breathed deeply. It was the moment of truth; she would finally know what her love was made of. She went to the TV station to announce her departure and packed her stuffs.
Sho's grandmother was at the station like she said, near a cab.
Maki hugged her, kissing tenderly the cheek of the woman who was more like a mother for the man she loved for so many years.
But once in the vehicle, their smiles disappeared.
“We will have to be courageous, the both of us. I have to confess something at first. When I left my family and sold my possessions, I kept a little house I possessed in Tokyo's outskirts. At that time I gave it to Sho. I wanted a haven of peace for him, a place he would own. No one knows and even if someone takes care of it, it's a bit outdated. But it's a beautiful place to start from scratches.
“You want for him to live out there?”
“Yes, he will need time, and as long as if he stay at the university, it will be useless...what do you think about it?”
“I'll talk to the Dean. I can move his stuff from his bedroom too.”
“Very well. We'll head to the house. There's an old car in the garage and I'll show you around the way. I'll bring back Sho as soon as possible.”
Maki nodded and took her hand. The old lady squeezed it warmly. They had a plan and a small light of hope when they reached the house.
It was a splendid mansion lost in a beautiful little wood. A flight of stair led to the porch where an old swing chair sat rusting. The vintage atmosphere charmed the young woman immediately.
After the great Hall, she discovered a huge kitchen. No modern equipment, only a wood stove to warm the place and a basic necessity for cooking. Upstairs, there are some big bedrooms. She opened the wooden clothes closets smelling wax and honey.
She smiled, feeling good in this house full of nostalgia.
She tried to find new strength in this welcoming house. Her thoughts always turned back to Sho, terrorized at the idea that he was suffering currently. He acted so well...but he wasn't mean or a coward, he wanted to spare her, it was obvious. And he believed in them...or why would he had hidden the truth? Why did he keep the bond between them otherwise?
She chose a bedroom and changed her clothes, then went to the garage where she found a red pick-up. She fetched some empty cardboard boxes and loaded them into the pick-up.
The keys were on the seat and the engine started at the first try.
She drove to the university, determined to do everything in her power to help Sho to get over his distress. The Dean agreed as a matter of fact to allow his model student to recover from his mysterious illness and Maki went to the dormitory to pack Sho's stuffs.
She was almost done when she heard someone running in the corridor. Jun didn't hide his disappointment when he met her gaze.
“Maki-chan?”
“Horikita-san. Sho's not here.”
“Where is he?”
Maki kept to herself the thousands of things she was dying to tell at this very moment. She simply smiled. He didn't deserve the satisfaction to see her down or angry. To be honest, she feared this encounter...but he won't see it.
“Obviously not here.”
“I can see that! Where did he go?”
“It's none of your business. You dumped him.”
“What did they tell you?”
“Nothing more. I'll take care of him now, I'm back. He doesn't need you anymore.”
“He loved me.”
Maki stared at him sceptically.
“Sho is a generous man, he loves a lot of people, why not you.”
“We're lovers.”
“You know, Matsumoto-san.” She kept on, suppressing the mad desire to jump at his throat to scratch his lying face. “I wondered why you jumped from one man to another, without stopping at anyone...and here is my conclusion. I think you're looking for something. A kind of Grail...a utopia. I don't know if I can talk about love in your case, but maybe a perfect act of love. And then, I can only pity you, because it's a lost cause. The only way to find it is to take the time to love someone sincerely, and to love him to the detriments of yourself. Like Sho and me for example.”
“It's bullshit, cheap psychology...”
“Maybe. Maybe not. No one ever told you that you had an ugly vein in the middle of your forehead when you're angry?”
“He's mine!” threatened Jun, grabbing her wrist forcefully.
“Really? You know so well how to love him and make him happy...to be loved by a man like you is a curse. You soil everything you touch. What's your trauma? Your mama loved you too much, your papa didn't? No one owns him, leave him alone, you hurt him too much already. Try to find him yourself and I'll be on your way. Now leave me alone, you're hurting me.”
Jun stared at her, stupefied to see her so combative. He felt an unexpected respect for her and he released his grip immediately.
She resumed her task and took the last cardboard in her arms. Jun lowered his head.
“Horikita-san. Please. Tell me he's fine.”
“He's not and it's your work. But he will be, I swear.”
She passed the threshold, her head up and strode through the campus to the pick-up. There she sobbed, letting the angst and the hate she felt for Jun leaving her. He didn't deserve to be in her mind. He didn't deserve to soil the love she felt for Sho.
She took to the road determined.
=+=
Jun stood still a moment, contemplating the empty shelves and furniture, what made his life since he was with Sho.
So it was over. Really over. He came to say goodbye last night, nothing more. He chose the moment for them to make love for the last time. Showing him a bit of paradise before letting him dive into Hell. And once again, in his madness and his blindness he didn't understand. He didn't see Sho's despair, his will to never see him again. To amputate him.
Did he know when he came at his place that Maki was waiting for him in Tokyo? In Tokyo or elsewhere...maybe was she decided to make him leave the town?
He will be hers. She would put her hands on him, would offer herself to him and would give him children, making him happy and making him laugh. Jealousy devastated him. The reality of the loss seized him at the same time, kneeling on the floor. In the very same bedroom where he left Sho. What an irony!
He hurt a lot of people in his life, a lot, but not once he imagined he would pay for it so painfully. You deserve it, he shouted to himself as Sho's image popped into his mind. His blank face, his too thin body, the blood on his tights. He was the one to blame and...Nino...Nino too, he asked for war, true. But he was already dead, so Nino has won? Once again. No way, he won't give him satisfaction. If he could stop one of his machinations, he would do it.
Jun stood up, with hate inhabiting him, he knocked on Aiba's door. The latter opened it, surprised.
“Matsumoto-kun? It's the first time you come to my bedroom.”
“Come with me.”
“Where?”
“Don't argue.” He said with excitement. “Come with me, that's all. I had a great idea. We're gonna run away together...okay? We could visit the States. Do you want to see New-York?”
“I can't run away.”
“Of course you can! Stop to be so childish. Nino approved.”
“Ninomiya-san didn't approve.”
Jun stared at him incredulously. Since when did he dare to contradict him so openly?
“What are you talking about?”
Aiba lowered his head and opened the door wider. Nino was behind him, his arms crossed on his chest and by his side, Masaki's mother. If the man was smirking, a grimace of disgust adorned the woman's face.
“You were right, Ninomiya-kun. Come here, Masaki!” She opened her arms to her son. “And you! I informed the Dean and she won't close her eyes on your repulsing behaviour.”
“Nino, is this your work?” hissed Jun, blankly.
“What are you talking about? We don't know each other and you should atone for what you've done....Aiba-san has been comprehensive enough to not denounce you to the police, you should be grateful.”
“Indeed, you're lucky enough. Masaki has to meet his fiancé today and I want to avoid scandals.”
Jun gazed at them. Nino beamed, just like the woman who sounded extremely offended. Masaki looked everywhere but him.
He flinched and went home, his brain in a painful depravity. One thing was for sure, the Dean would kick him out. Nino became his worst nightmare. Sho had disappeared...what is left for him?
Some pills and one or two bottles of whisky would surely do the trick.
But he got punched as soon as he got out of the car. Jun rubbed his jaw and his lips already bleeding. He raised his gaze on his assaulter.
“Ohno-kun, well, well...pottery, sex expert and now boxer...so many talent for a sole man.”
“Get up! You soiled Masaki-kun! Come on..” He put his fists before him once again.
Jun felt an insane laugher growing from the back of his throat, which wasn't a good thing. Ohno kicked him and he fell on the sculptures decorating the entrance of the house, and he felt a terrible pain on his flank.
“You're really...susceptible...for a guy...who fucked Nino.”
“It has nothing to do with Masaki. He's pure and gentle.”
“Yeah everybody knows that gentlemen don’t have sex...” said Jun sitting with difficulties. “Nino told you that?”
Ohno nodded, startled. Why didn't he try to fight back?
“Nino is the worst bastard on Earth...you don’t understand? He tricked us, he's the puppet master since the beginning. He laid Masaki in my bed, he harassed me for me to take his virginity.”
“You lie.”
“He's a control-freak, he kept everything on video. I'm pretty sure you'd find some interesting stuff in his bedroom.”
Ohno crossed his arms and glared at him.
“Tell me.”
“Do you want to kill me outside or will you allow me to drink before that? I really need a glass, my day sucked.”
He helped Jun to get up and they walked by the employees of the house who were horrified by the horrific vision of their master leaving a thin trail of blood along his way.
Jun appeased their concerns with a gesture and dragged Ohno to the library where he established his plans with Nino in the past.
“Sit down, do you want something to drink?”
Ohno refused politely. Jun grimaced painfully when the alcohol burnt the wounds of his mouth, then he sat cautiously.
“As you wish. Everything began with Meisa, the Chief of the frigid virgin girls club. She slept with Nino, like the rest of the club by the way, and she dumped him because she had a fiancé. And...what did I tell?” Jun wiped his wet forehead, which was covered with blood, under the horrified gaze of Ohno “Yeah...who was the fiancé, you'll never guess. Your tender Masaki. That's why Nino took care of him. To humiliate Meisa on the day of her wedding. Her husband would be gay and would fuck with guys at the university, that's when you entered the game. Should I continue?”
“Matsumoto you have to go at the hospital, you're bleeding like Hell.”
“Not now, I have to finish the story first. What was I saying?”
“Matsumoto...what happened?”
“Not a big deal. I fell on one of those fucking sculptures earlier, the awful metal stuff.”
“Show me.” Ohno panicked when he noticed the little pool of blood under the armchair “Stupid! Hey, someone, quick! He's dying!”
Ohno moved Jun's jacket aside and saw a deep wound on his back. He took off his sweater and use it as a compress on Jun, who looked deadly blank and fainted with a smile.
Author : WendyJoly
Rating : NC-17
Pairing : Various but mainly Sakumoto
Beta : The wonderful
jtaytt ♥Genre : Schemes, university and love
Summary : Masaki Aiba enters the prestigious Tokyo U and becomes the stake of a game he totally ignores.
Note : This story is a very freely adapted version of one of my ever favourite book, “Les Liaisons Dangereuses” by Choderlos de Laclos.
“It’s done. I left Sakurai.”
Jun began to walk around the living room restlessly.
This little house in the outskirt was far from his luxurious manor but it was perfect for their discreet rendezvous. No chance to come across someone from their elite university in this middle-class district.
Nino sat quietly on the couch, observing his mate struggling with his thoughts. He knew exactly what moved this tortured mind and the serene gaze he was trying to show didn’t fool him a second.
“Could you sit down please, my head is already dizzy.”
Jun stared at him, surprised, as if he was noticing Nino’s presence by his side. He pulled himself together and sat on the couch graciously, lighting a cigarette.
“So, you left him?”
“Yesterday.”
“Congratulation, I thought you won’t be able to get over this silly crush…what did he say?”
“That he loves me.”
“As expected. What else?”
“Almost nothing. He’s a man of dignity you know, he’s reserved…he keeps his pain to himself.”
“What do you intend to do now?”
“Don’t know…I thought I could wait few days to apologize. I know he will welcome me with open arms. It will be a pleasure to play with him again.”
Nino burst out laughing.
“What? Why are you laughing?” hissed Jun vexed.
“Who do you think you’re talking to? I know you; keep your sale talks for someone else…”
“What are you talking about?”
“You will take him back to torture him? Really? I rather believe you want to come back to him because he’s under your skin and the sole idea of not sharing his bed anymore tortures you, only you…”
“Absolutely not.”
“You love your ordinary man, you can tell me.”
“Never.”
“Jun, look at me. You sacrificed him to not lose face. You’re scared that I mocked you, to the extent that you accepted to hurt the only person you ever love sincerely.”
“I don’t love him.”
“You love him as much as a tortured mind like yours is able to love. You missed the chance to be appeased, what can I say…I could tell you I warned you, but it would be petty.”
“You know what I think?”
“Do tell me.”
“You’re trying to divert my attention in order not to honour our bet.”
“That’s why you’re here today?”
“Exactly.” said Jun tapping the place by his side.
“Are you kidding me? You can’t believe I’m gonna sleep with you because of a bet?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Be honest. If I had won, would you have shaved your head?”
“But I won!”
“That’s another problem!”
Nino’s voice was suddenly dead serious when Jun’s face was misshaped with anger.
“I want you to honour our fucking bet.”
“Or?”
“Are you challenging me? Don’t do that Nino, you’ll regret it.”
They gauged each other for a while then Nino laughed.
joyfully
“You want to fuck me…very well…if it makes you happy.”
Nino laid down on the couch, readjusting his towel then parted his legs.
He grabbed a video games magazine and began to skim it absentmindedly. After a few second he gazed at Jun, startled.
“Oh, excuse me, should I be on all four? What do you prefer?”
Jun sighed, his anger lowered and kneeled at Nino’s feet.
“Nino, excuse me. That’s not what I wished…you know you’re different. If you would~”
“If I would?” said Nino, straightening, gazing at Jun straightforwardly.
“I have never met someone like you. Why don’t we simply stop playing? Don’t you get tired of it? Why should we look for someone else since we found each other?”
“You want us to be a couple?” said Nino in an undertone with emotion.
“Yeah, that’s what I want.” smiled Jun “You are so special. We’re meant to be together…Nino…”
Nino leaned forward and kissed Jun softly. He kissed his chin and followed he curve of his chin, smiling when Jun moaned because he was nibbling his earlobe.
“Nino…I want you so much…”
The young man cupped his face, observing Jun attentively, reading an obvious sincerity in his eyes. Tears blurred his gaze.
“I waited for those words for so long…I dreamt of it for ages. This is the most beautiful day of my life…can I tell you a secret?”
Jun nodded with a smile and watched Nino as he climbed the stairs then followed him. At last. He knew where they headed since his bedroom was the only one upstairs.
The door was ajar and while he was taking off his jacket he opened it completely to see that Nino climbed into his bed.
But he wasn’t alone.
Ohno was totally naked on the bed and he leaped on his feet to cover himself with a sheet.
Jun’s gaze darkened.
He heard Nino’s mocking laugher and felt as if he had been just stabbed.
“What does it means?” hissed Jun.
“It means you have no right on me. You want for us to be a couple?! How sweet…but tell me, how long before the first mutual betrayal? It’s in our nature, don’t you understand? Fortunately I’m not as naïve as you. I cheated for pleasure, not for necessity and I won’t allow anyone to tell me what to do and ask me what I’m doing when he’s not around. No-one-owns-me. Especially not a guy who is crazy about someone else.”
Nino’s face was now misshaped by anger.
“Is it your last word?”
“It is.”
“Nino. I warn you, if you don’t comply now, it will be war between us.”
“Okay. Let the war begin.” susurrated Nino smiling dangerously.
=+=
Jun came back home furious as ever. He devastated the living room, which was the first room on his way, stopping only out of tiredness and pain.
The feeling of being been deceived drove him crazy…it won’t be that easy. Nino would pay for this.
One thing was for sure, if he had to fall, the President of the students would fall from higher.
He poured a glass of whisky, decided to be dead drunk before the end of the night to forget what had haunted him. Jun repeated again and again that he should go out. To the club or the Fanbangers and laughed about those bullshits but he couldn’t.
He couldn’t erase the vision of Sho’s face when he realized what monster he really was. The pain. The infinite sadness. But…no disappointment. As if he knew. As if he expected it. Was he so transparent? And more important, if he knew, why did he accept him?
And Nino.
Nino who said that he was in love with Sho. Was he right? Against all odds, did he really fall for his prey? Impossible…men like him didn’t fall in love. Love was a too pure feeling for a hunter. So why? Why did he feel the urge to run to Sho and beg him for forgiveness?
He poured another drink and drank as fast as possible, waiting for the soothing numbness.
“Sir?”
“Hm?”
“He’s here. Again.”
Jun walked to the panoramic window and saw him leaning against the pillar in the garden. Sakurai Sho.
Soon after Jun left the dormitory, Sho knocked at his door asking for him and when Jun refused, he decided to wait.
Yet, it was out of question…what could happen if he opened his door? He would have to live this dreadful separation again …impossible.
“Leave him alone.”
Jun closed the curtain and drank until the moment he fell asleep on the couch.
The next day he stayed at home, asking not to be disturbed.
Enclosed in the library close to the fireplace, a book in the hand, he tried to not overthink about his shitty life.
He barely heard the first drop of rain…but soon it was a tempest outside and he ran to the window. He was still here. Sat in a corner but he didn’t move at all. Jun spotted the dark silhouette who didn’t even try to struggle against the pouring rain.
“Open the door now!” He shouted to the butler who bowed then fetched an umbrella to exit the house.
From upstairs Jun saw Sho walking in and his heart skipped a beat. He crossed his gaze and melted. Yeah he was in love with him, it was so obvious. And the man facing him loved him too. Jun opened his arms and Sho climbed up the stairs in a rush to nestle against him, kissing him fiercely.
Jun held him tight, forgetting that he was now totally soaked and answered to the kiss feverishly. He finally felt alive again, blaming himself for the lost time and his foolish blindness.
He took Sho’s hand and dragged him to a guest room which he never slept, where he never met any of his lovers and undressed him near the fireplace to dry him.
“Idiot, you gonna catch a cold…” he whispered too happy to take care of him. He wrapped him into a fluffy towel and rubbed his body softly, glad to feel his skin getting warm, life inhabiting their two bodies again under his caresses.
Jun observed him and his heart constricted when he noticed the black circles, his thin face and his dreadful paleness.
“Sho, I’m so sorry…forgive me please…I would never hurt you. I swear. I love you so much. I love you so much.”
The words disappeared progressively on Sho’s skin, loving gestures replacing sweets promises.
Sho took Jun’s hand and dragged him to bed, undressing him brutally. Jun didn’t argue, too impatient to feel his skin against Sho’s, already rubbing their two perfectly erected virility.
Sho spread his legs, placing him between his tights and Jun grinned, kissing him again and again but when he tried to move away, Sho gripped his arm, squeezing it hard.
“I’ll be back right away; I’ll fetch a lubricant…”
But Sho didn’t release him, on contrary, he squeezed tighter and kissed him fiercely, biting him mercilessly, feeling on his lips Jun’s blood that was dripping from his wounded lips. He slid his hand between his thighs, grabbing his lover’s member to place it on his entrance.
Jun struggled a bit, moaning some “No” in Sho’s mouth, the terror of hurting him holding him back, too afraid not to give him pleasure…he never did this…no one loved him to that extent…it was terrifying and totally exciting.
So he gave up. Because he was a coward, because he desired him, because he was an egotist, because he loved him. He entered him keenly and hardly, losing himself with a big groan.
When he was entirely in him, he stopped, observing Sho’s face misshaped with pain, big beads of tears running along his cheeks but not a noise passed his lips. Jun pecked his face, drinking his pain, noticing with surprise that it wasn’t his lover’s tears but his. He moved softly, pleasure overwhelming him powerfully, carried away by an unknown and unexpected sensation, lost in Sho’s deep gaze.
Jun finally realized that it was him, only him…He was Sho’s. And Nino was right since the beginning. But in this very moment, he didn’t care at all and he would never care from now on. If he could keep Sho for him, against him, he won’t need anyone else…he held himself as much as he could, move slowly until the devastating climax.
He withdrew, wrapping his hand around Sho’s rigid shaft, pumping strong as he was taking his mouth deeper, caressing him until the moment he finally came, spreading his semen all over his stomach.
Jun fetched the towel and cleaned him tenderly, cautiously cleaning his thighs soiled with sperm and blood.
“Forgive me Sho, I didn't want to hurt you.”
He kissed Sho, putting his temple to the man's chest, listening with happiness the sound of his heart. Jun grabbed the blanket and covered their naked bodies. He fell asleep rapidly when he heard the quiet breathe of his lover.
When he woke up, three hours later, Jun patted the place by his side, and began to panic when his hand met nothing but emptiness. This bad feeling, this assertiveness that something irreversible had happened struck him violently.
“No...no...no!”
He jumped from his bed, dressed hastily, noticing the sun already high in the sky and without losing a second ran to the dormitory.
He ran as if his life was in stake until he reached Sho's bedroom and sighed with relief when he saw the open door.
“Sho, you scared me to death, I~”
“Hello, Matsumoto-san.”
Facing him, alone in the middle of the empty bedroom, Maki was closing a cardboard.
Everything began weeks earlier as she arrived in Osaka.
She received in her mailbox a message decorated with the university logo. Some bad joke she didn't pay attention at all. A initials game telling that unholy relationships were gangrening the school.
She threw the first message to trash bin immediately, but she received a second then a third, telling the adventures of a man called MJ who used to seduce innocent students. Maki was perfectly aware that Sho and Jun were the heroes of those few badly written lines, but she sincerely believed that people loved to soil even the purest virile friendship. Yet, a few days later when the lines left their place to a blur picture displaying Sho and Jun making out in the university library, she flailed.
“Our young and innocent S.S finally gave up to his friend M.J.? Seeing them in the library so attentive to each other's anatomy, we could have swear it...XO”
Her worse fears were true. She didn't dream this ambiguity in their relationship, the way Jun used to gaze at Sho...Sho...her gentle Sho.
Every evening, she talked to him, every evening he lied to her, playing the perfect boyfriend. As if he loved her.
What could she do? What a cheated woman could do against an unfaithful lover? It sounded like a bad movie...as she left to work afar, Sho enjoyed his freedom with a lustful man...they were surely mocking her, when they were in bed.
She had to go back in Tokyo immediately, she had to throw the pictures to Sho's face, telling him how disappointed she was, that she was turning her back to him, definitely. She gasped for air, her heart beat madly, an insane pain overwhelmed and she had to sit in order not to faint.
She sobbed for hours. Then she began to reason.
No...it was only her pain which blurred her mind. She knew Sho, she knew the man he really was. And Maki was convinced that he still loved her in spite of what he felt for the seducing rival. Matsumoto offered him everything she couldn't. But this couldn't last forever. She only had to wait. Matsumoto was not a trustful man and sooner or later he would show his true colour to Sho. And when he would reach the bottom, Sho would need her...
Maki closed the gates to her pride and sadness, in order for Sho not to notice the change in her behaviour. She would wait but would take advantage of the lost time to find the mysterious sender who enjoyed torturing his peers in the name of the morale. And this person would pay for this.
“Mochi mochi, Horikita Maki desu.”
“Maki-chan?”
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard a sob. She sat like a robot, waiting for the bad news.
“Oba-chan? How is Sho?”
“I don't know if I'm right to call you...but for the very first time in my life, I don't know what to do anymore...I don't know...”
“Tell me. I want to know.”
“Sorry. First I have to tell you that I feared making this phone call. Since you left, Sho fell in love with someone...I'm so sorry to tell you this.”
“Matsumoto-kun?”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
“I didn't see him since he figured that out, I think he's ashamed of himself. I knew their relationship was stormy but...last week I found him on my door steps, curled into a ball and crying. He told me the man left him, that he fooled him since the beginning. He doesn't speak anymore, he refuses to eat, he's suffering so much...I don't know what to do.”
“Where is he, Oba-chan?”
“I think he's at this Matsumoto’s place. He told me he had to see him. I know how painful it is to hear this, but you're the only one who can help him...yet you have the right to refuse. But I know you love him, sincerely, just like he loves you...”
“What can I do?”
“I'll look for him and I'll bring him at my place. Rather at his place, I'll explain to you...”
“I'm gonna help him. Of course, I'm gonna help him.”
Maki heard the sigh of relief on the other side.
“Maki-chan, thank you so much.”
“I'll be in the next shinkansen, I guess I'll be in Tokyo around eleven.”
“I'll be at the station.”
“Ja'”
Maki hung up and breathed deeply. It was the moment of truth; she would finally know what her love was made of. She went to the TV station to announce her departure and packed her stuffs.
Sho's grandmother was at the station like she said, near a cab.
Maki hugged her, kissing tenderly the cheek of the woman who was more like a mother for the man she loved for so many years.
But once in the vehicle, their smiles disappeared.
“We will have to be courageous, the both of us. I have to confess something at first. When I left my family and sold my possessions, I kept a little house I possessed in Tokyo's outskirts. At that time I gave it to Sho. I wanted a haven of peace for him, a place he would own. No one knows and even if someone takes care of it, it's a bit outdated. But it's a beautiful place to start from scratches.
“You want for him to live out there?”
“Yes, he will need time, and as long as if he stay at the university, it will be useless...what do you think about it?”
“I'll talk to the Dean. I can move his stuff from his bedroom too.”
“Very well. We'll head to the house. There's an old car in the garage and I'll show you around the way. I'll bring back Sho as soon as possible.”
Maki nodded and took her hand. The old lady squeezed it warmly. They had a plan and a small light of hope when they reached the house.
It was a splendid mansion lost in a beautiful little wood. A flight of stair led to the porch where an old swing chair sat rusting. The vintage atmosphere charmed the young woman immediately.
After the great Hall, she discovered a huge kitchen. No modern equipment, only a wood stove to warm the place and a basic necessity for cooking. Upstairs, there are some big bedrooms. She opened the wooden clothes closets smelling wax and honey.
She smiled, feeling good in this house full of nostalgia.
She tried to find new strength in this welcoming house. Her thoughts always turned back to Sho, terrorized at the idea that he was suffering currently. He acted so well...but he wasn't mean or a coward, he wanted to spare her, it was obvious. And he believed in them...or why would he had hidden the truth? Why did he keep the bond between them otherwise?
She chose a bedroom and changed her clothes, then went to the garage where she found a red pick-up. She fetched some empty cardboard boxes and loaded them into the pick-up.
The keys were on the seat and the engine started at the first try.
She drove to the university, determined to do everything in her power to help Sho to get over his distress. The Dean agreed as a matter of fact to allow his model student to recover from his mysterious illness and Maki went to the dormitory to pack Sho's stuffs.
She was almost done when she heard someone running in the corridor. Jun didn't hide his disappointment when he met her gaze.
“Maki-chan?”
“Horikita-san. Sho's not here.”
“Where is he?”
Maki kept to herself the thousands of things she was dying to tell at this very moment. She simply smiled. He didn't deserve the satisfaction to see her down or angry. To be honest, she feared this encounter...but he won't see it.
“Obviously not here.”
“I can see that! Where did he go?”
“It's none of your business. You dumped him.”
“What did they tell you?”
“Nothing more. I'll take care of him now, I'm back. He doesn't need you anymore.”
“He loved me.”
Maki stared at him sceptically.
“Sho is a generous man, he loves a lot of people, why not you.”
“We're lovers.”
“You know, Matsumoto-san.” She kept on, suppressing the mad desire to jump at his throat to scratch his lying face. “I wondered why you jumped from one man to another, without stopping at anyone...and here is my conclusion. I think you're looking for something. A kind of Grail...a utopia. I don't know if I can talk about love in your case, but maybe a perfect act of love. And then, I can only pity you, because it's a lost cause. The only way to find it is to take the time to love someone sincerely, and to love him to the detriments of yourself. Like Sho and me for example.”
“It's bullshit, cheap psychology...”
“Maybe. Maybe not. No one ever told you that you had an ugly vein in the middle of your forehead when you're angry?”
“He's mine!” threatened Jun, grabbing her wrist forcefully.
“Really? You know so well how to love him and make him happy...to be loved by a man like you is a curse. You soil everything you touch. What's your trauma? Your mama loved you too much, your papa didn't? No one owns him, leave him alone, you hurt him too much already. Try to find him yourself and I'll be on your way. Now leave me alone, you're hurting me.”
Jun stared at her, stupefied to see her so combative. He felt an unexpected respect for her and he released his grip immediately.
She resumed her task and took the last cardboard in her arms. Jun lowered his head.
“Horikita-san. Please. Tell me he's fine.”
“He's not and it's your work. But he will be, I swear.”
She passed the threshold, her head up and strode through the campus to the pick-up. There she sobbed, letting the angst and the hate she felt for Jun leaving her. He didn't deserve to be in her mind. He didn't deserve to soil the love she felt for Sho.
She took to the road determined.
=+=
Jun stood still a moment, contemplating the empty shelves and furniture, what made his life since he was with Sho.
So it was over. Really over. He came to say goodbye last night, nothing more. He chose the moment for them to make love for the last time. Showing him a bit of paradise before letting him dive into Hell. And once again, in his madness and his blindness he didn't understand. He didn't see Sho's despair, his will to never see him again. To amputate him.
Did he know when he came at his place that Maki was waiting for him in Tokyo? In Tokyo or elsewhere...maybe was she decided to make him leave the town?
He will be hers. She would put her hands on him, would offer herself to him and would give him children, making him happy and making him laugh. Jealousy devastated him. The reality of the loss seized him at the same time, kneeling on the floor. In the very same bedroom where he left Sho. What an irony!
He hurt a lot of people in his life, a lot, but not once he imagined he would pay for it so painfully. You deserve it, he shouted to himself as Sho's image popped into his mind. His blank face, his too thin body, the blood on his tights. He was the one to blame and...Nino...Nino too, he asked for war, true. But he was already dead, so Nino has won? Once again. No way, he won't give him satisfaction. If he could stop one of his machinations, he would do it.
Jun stood up, with hate inhabiting him, he knocked on Aiba's door. The latter opened it, surprised.
“Matsumoto-kun? It's the first time you come to my bedroom.”
“Come with me.”
“Where?”
“Don't argue.” He said with excitement. “Come with me, that's all. I had a great idea. We're gonna run away together...okay? We could visit the States. Do you want to see New-York?”
“I can't run away.”
“Of course you can! Stop to be so childish. Nino approved.”
“Ninomiya-san didn't approve.”
Jun stared at him incredulously. Since when did he dare to contradict him so openly?
“What are you talking about?”
Aiba lowered his head and opened the door wider. Nino was behind him, his arms crossed on his chest and by his side, Masaki's mother. If the man was smirking, a grimace of disgust adorned the woman's face.
“You were right, Ninomiya-kun. Come here, Masaki!” She opened her arms to her son. “And you! I informed the Dean and she won't close her eyes on your repulsing behaviour.”
“Nino, is this your work?” hissed Jun, blankly.
“What are you talking about? We don't know each other and you should atone for what you've done....Aiba-san has been comprehensive enough to not denounce you to the police, you should be grateful.”
“Indeed, you're lucky enough. Masaki has to meet his fiancé today and I want to avoid scandals.”
Jun gazed at them. Nino beamed, just like the woman who sounded extremely offended. Masaki looked everywhere but him.
He flinched and went home, his brain in a painful depravity. One thing was for sure, the Dean would kick him out. Nino became his worst nightmare. Sho had disappeared...what is left for him?
Some pills and one or two bottles of whisky would surely do the trick.
But he got punched as soon as he got out of the car. Jun rubbed his jaw and his lips already bleeding. He raised his gaze on his assaulter.
“Ohno-kun, well, well...pottery, sex expert and now boxer...so many talent for a sole man.”
“Get up! You soiled Masaki-kun! Come on..” He put his fists before him once again.
Jun felt an insane laugher growing from the back of his throat, which wasn't a good thing. Ohno kicked him and he fell on the sculptures decorating the entrance of the house, and he felt a terrible pain on his flank.
“You're really...susceptible...for a guy...who fucked Nino.”
“It has nothing to do with Masaki. He's pure and gentle.”
“Yeah everybody knows that gentlemen don’t have sex...” said Jun sitting with difficulties. “Nino told you that?”
Ohno nodded, startled. Why didn't he try to fight back?
“Nino is the worst bastard on Earth...you don’t understand? He tricked us, he's the puppet master since the beginning. He laid Masaki in my bed, he harassed me for me to take his virginity.”
“You lie.”
“He's a control-freak, he kept everything on video. I'm pretty sure you'd find some interesting stuff in his bedroom.”
Ohno crossed his arms and glared at him.
“Tell me.”
“Do you want to kill me outside or will you allow me to drink before that? I really need a glass, my day sucked.”
He helped Jun to get up and they walked by the employees of the house who were horrified by the horrific vision of their master leaving a thin trail of blood along his way.
Jun appeased their concerns with a gesture and dragged Ohno to the library where he established his plans with Nino in the past.
“Sit down, do you want something to drink?”
Ohno refused politely. Jun grimaced painfully when the alcohol burnt the wounds of his mouth, then he sat cautiously.
“As you wish. Everything began with Meisa, the Chief of the frigid virgin girls club. She slept with Nino, like the rest of the club by the way, and she dumped him because she had a fiancé. And...what did I tell?” Jun wiped his wet forehead, which was covered with blood, under the horrified gaze of Ohno “Yeah...who was the fiancé, you'll never guess. Your tender Masaki. That's why Nino took care of him. To humiliate Meisa on the day of her wedding. Her husband would be gay and would fuck with guys at the university, that's when you entered the game. Should I continue?”
“Matsumoto you have to go at the hospital, you're bleeding like Hell.”
“Not now, I have to finish the story first. What was I saying?”
“Matsumoto...what happened?”
“Not a big deal. I fell on one of those fucking sculptures earlier, the awful metal stuff.”
“Show me.” Ohno panicked when he noticed the little pool of blood under the armchair “Stupid! Hey, someone, quick! He's dying!”
Ohno moved Jun's jacket aside and saw a deep wound on his back. He took off his sweater and use it as a compress on Jun, who looked deadly blank and fainted with a smile.
