Your body is Wonderland
Nov. 16th, 2014 02:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wendyjolyTitle : Kiss in the dark
Author : WendyJoly
Pairing : Guess who~
Rating : NC-17
Beta :![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chibipinkpetals♥
Genre : First time, awkwardness and love
Summary : The first time is a very difficult step to take...
Note: This OS is part of the serie "The last time you and I", you can find the first part ->Here
NINO
"Sleep at my place tonight? Guys?"
I stare at the others, the three others more precisely, avoiding on purpose the couch where Sho is sitting.
“It’s already late, I pass.” I moan, smiling naturally, already grabbing my backpack to close it. “Keep the video games, I already finished them…”
They are looking at Sho as if he had something to say but he simply keeps on playing, focused on his level, vaguely rising the hand to signify he’ll stay at Oh-chan’s place for the night. After a quick wave, I exit the bedroom, say goodbye to Satoshi’s parents and put on my shoes quickly.
I’m on the street when someone pats my shoulder, freaking me out, I sigh deeply when my gaze crosses Aiba’s.
“You scared me to death, stupid!”
“You thought it was Sho.”
“Not at all.”
“Liar.”
“What do you want?”
“I’m bringing you home.”
“You don’t have to, I mean it. The building is near.”
“I’m happy to do it and the guys will still be there when I get back.”
“Okay.”
He places his arm around my shoulder and succeeds to keep quiet for at least…five minutes, before touching THE subject.
“Something happened between you and Sho? I mean, you’re always stuck to each other and since a few days, you can’t even cross his gaze. I’m worried.”
“You don’t have to, it’s just…we’re not on the same wave length that’s all.”
“Since when? And the same wave length about what?”
Gosh, I don’t want to talk about this. I know I’ll die of shame if I simply evocate this night. But Aiba, as strange as it seems, always gives me good advice.
“Things are unclear between us. I’d like a commitment…somehow.”
“And he refused?”
“Clearly.”
“Wait, wait, Sho is Mister Commitment.”
“Well, not with me.”
I can help but sound to be bitter, I hate this, but Masaki is right, Sho is Mister Commitment usually. That’s surely why it’s so hard to swallow.
“Whatever happened, you could tell me.”
We’re in front of my building and I have to take a decision. I bite my lip thoughtfully and open the door to let him come in. My mother is still working and once the threshold passed, I go to the kitchen where I boil water.
He sits on a chair and I do the same, pouring us a tea. I’m grateful to him for being so quiet, it helps me to organize my thoughts and get over my natural shyness.
“Do you remember the last time we slept at Sho’s place?”
“Sure.”
“Well…”
=+=
2 weeks early
“Are you staying? My parents work tonight.”
I’m on the floor beside Sho and inconspicuously he put his arm around my shoulder. Six months have passed since the weekend in the mountains and I couldn’t be more in love with him. He didn’t really change; he was still so active in all kind of club activities, he was still Oh-chan, Masaki and Jun-kun’s best friend.
But he was my boyfriend too.
Absentmindedly, he caressed my neck with his thumb and I blushed idiotically, happy beyond words that no one seemed to be shocked by our lovey dovey behavior. As if it was natural for this handsome guy to be MY boyfriend. No way! Every day I had to pinch myself to admit it was true, that he really liked me.
We were playing video games and around midnight, Sho turned off the lights and chose a DVD. I was so fond of the way he seemed to always be able to take the right decision in any kind of circumstances. It was comfortable and so reassuring for me who was so insecure and so poorly self-confident.
The rest of the guys laid down on the futons on the floor and Sho patted the place by his side, on his bed. I crawled to him and we slid under the sheets. After half an hour, Oh-chan snored noisily, Ma-chan surreptitiously stuck his futon to Jun’s and he was in his arms. No one sounded to be interested by the DVD anymore except Sho. I didn’t even know what it was about, too troubled by his warmth by my side.
It was not the first time we slept on the same bed, obviously, when you’re two guys, it’s common but I had to admit, I never really slept. How could I?!
Jun was finally asleep too and Sho laid down on the mattress and looked at me with a smirk, nibbling his thumb.
“What?” I murmured.
“Nothing. I'm just looking at you, that’s all.”
I blushed hard and hid my face idiotically onto my arm. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me to him, cupping my face and kissing my lips, making me giggle.
“Hush…they are sleeping.”
“So you should stop kissing me.” I whispered, obviously wishing he keeps on.
“No way. We can’t kiss at school and we’re never alone when we’re home. I don’t intend to waste the occasion.”
He made me roll over, gently brushed a strand of hair from my forehead and his dead serious face thrilled me. I didn’t know what he had in mind but I was ready for whatever it could be. My hands were flatly unmoving on my stomach but he raised my T-shirt and stroked tenderly my sides, resuming his kisses. My hands began to move by themselves and since he took the initiative, I guess I could caress his back too. Oh gosh, he took off his tank top and smiled to me, pecking my neck. I raised my leg and felt my toes curling shamelessly under his ministrations, it was so good.
“Nino…”
He murmured my name, his hand slipped to my hips then my thighs, his own leg slid between mine. He was already so hard…should I be afraid? On contrary, it was thrilling to be so desired and I readjusted my position to let him feel my own excitement. What should I do now? My mind worked the best it could, not really well to be true, and once again he took the decision for us when his hips moved against mine. I felt his hardness through the material and all I could do was to cling on him and raised the other leg to feel him better. His hand went down, caressed the small of my back and after a second of stillness, glided into my pajamas, caressing the tender skin of my buttock and definitely making me lose my mind. I kissed him deeply, moving faster against him to rub his member against mine, totally forgetting that our friends were sleeping so close to us. On this bed, we were in a bubble and there was nothing or noone else than Sho and me and all the wonderful sensations he made me feel. I didn’t even try to repress the pleasure I felt, even when a wave like a tsunami devastated me and made me spread my semen in my pants. He froze suddenly, arching his back and swallowing a moan of delight I guessed in my mouth, releasing his hot load between us.
I was dead, that’s all I could think in this very moment. I was dead and happy in paradise; I hid my face at the crook of his neck and whispered, suddenly exhilarated:
“I want to make love to you.”
=+=
“And?”
“And what? He ran off the bed.” I admit pitifully.
Masaki whistles appreciatively and sips his tea.
“You ask him to make love and~”
“~and he ran away.”
“Since then he avoids you and you avoid him. It’s clear.”
“It’s clear? What’s clear?”
“He’s shy.”
“He isn’t shy! Sho is never shy. Maybe I am not exciting enough for him?”
“He’s a teenager; even a shabby carpet is exciting for a teenager.”
“Thanks.”
“You know what I mean. Of course, since you almost did it and when he looks at you he could eat you alive..."
“That’s what I can’t get. Oh gosh, I screwed up everything between us.” I cover my messy face with my hands and Masaki gently pats my head.
“Talk to him.”
“After what I did?! No way! I talked and…now he doesn’t even dare to look at me in the eye.”
“So give him time. Sho is very cautious, he never decides anything on a whim and I’m pretty sure he takes this like a real commitment. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. On the contrary.”
I stare at him, trying to figure out if it’s a gentle way to reassure me. But he sounds to be so sincere that I can only see a little hope in his arguments. After all, he’s Sho childhood’s friend, he knows him better than anyone.
“Well, I have to go back or Jun will scold me. He’s so over protective sometimes.”
He puts on his jacket and his shoes.
“Thanks for the tea, Nino.”
“Ma-chan?”
“Hm?”
“Tell him…no, forget it, just thanks for the advice, I feel better.”
He leaves the apartment and for the first time in days, I sleep like a log. The next day, I see Oh-chan who spends the night at my place and two other days are necessary for me to run into Sho.
To be honest, I pretty much avoided him, too afraid to hear him saying he decided to break-up with me. Unexpectedly, the third day he’s leaning against my locker and he smiles brightly. I’m not really sure it’s good sign.
“This weekend. Me and the guys at the onsen, you’re in?”
“Are you sparing your words or are you trying a military kind of speech?”
“I try to be concise.”
“Why should you? You didn’t speak to me so much lately…”
“I know you’re angry, you blame me for the way I treat you and I blame myself too. Sorry. This little travel could be the occasion to talk.”
I’m dying to…but I don’t want to talk if it’s to say we’re better separated.
“I don’t have the money to go to an onsen.” It’s true, my mother barely manages to pay the bills, so an onsen is out of question.
“I already have the place. Jun won them at a lottery. It’s free…”
“Lucky man…”
“Please…Kazu-chan…”
I can’t resist when he calls me Kazu and he knows it too well, it’s so unfair. I simply nod and three days later we’re like two idiots on the sidewalk, waiting the guys to climb in the bus which will drive us to the onsen.
“I swear to you, I didn't know that they would cancel.” He sounds to be sincere and I can’t really help but be happy somehow, to spend an entire weekend with him only.
“Forget it.” I step forward and he grabs my bag to carry it into the bus.
Such a gentleman.
* SHO *
Everything went so wrong since that night.
“Are you staying? My parents are working tonight.”
I stared at my boyfriend, hoping he would accept to stay. Of course, I like my mates, but it's for Kazu only that I asked to my parents if they could sleep here. I caressed his face, making him blush shyly and a cloud of butterflies took off inside my belly like every time I touch him.
I can't get enough, I can't believe this wonderful person had accepted to be my boyfriend.
My boyfriend. It sounds strange for a guy who has always been THE boyfriend in his relationships.
He’s so precious. Far more than everyone I met during my entire life but bit by bit I figured out how much this love could be threatening for my well organized life.
I’m not a bad student and since my childhood I know I’ll join the University of my parents attended to and study medicine like they did; it was a given that I’d find a wife out there too.
But Nino barged into my life and everything changed.
My parents like him, of course, who wouldn’t? But I hide the true nature of our relationship, I just can’t tell them frankly I’m in love with a man, not yet. Thus, the entire bunch sleeping at my place.
It won’t change the man I am, it won’t change the way I want to lead my life but if I chose this path, I have to give up the idea of having a traditional family. It’s perfectly okay for me if Nino accepts to share my life but what would I say to my parents? Isn’t too soon to even think about it?
I postpone the idea of talking to them about this, take my time and enjoy our actual lovey dovey relationship, without really thinking further. We didn’t really make love and I convince myself that it makes a difference.
That night, I used my usual trick to cuddle him, trying to forget that the morning will come fast enough, that soon I’ll have to go back to my reality. On my bed, when no one else pays attention to us, we kiss and caress but this time, more than before, I had a hard time to repress my excitement. As I just climaxed, he whispered to me this sentence: “I want to make love to you.”
I panicked and jumped out of the bed, crimsoned.
Since then, I haven't faced him, unable to be clear and he blames me for this shameful switch-a-roo.
How can I explain that I’m afraid, that even if I ached to make love to him, I can’t hurt him more than I’m already doing? How can I explain that I fear my parent’s reaction? His mother knows we’re in love and she roots for us but I can’t expect the same freedom of thought with my parents. I know they’ll turn their back on me.
If we never made love perhaps will it be easier for him to bid me farewell when I’ll leave for University?
Well…I forgot too hastily the hellish trio and his priceless advices.
“Why do you refuse to sleep with Nino?”
I always appreciated Aiba’s subtly and when he came back at Ohno’s place after his little walk with Nino, he’s mad at me.
“He told you?”
“Of course, he’s desperate. He thinks he’s an idiot or ugly to be laid…”
“Wait, wait…”
The two others are glaring at me, their mouth pinched on a silent reproach.
“I never said I didn’t want him~”
“No, you simply avoid him and let him think that you don’t love him!”
“Listen guys…” I put on the floor the joy pad and fold my legs, resting my chin on my knees. “Things are complicated. My parents…and I took the test for Tokyo University.”
“Great news. And what’s the link?” Asks Jun.
“Next semester I’ll probably leave town and Nino wants to study music at Kyoto. I want to protect him.”
“By hurting him?” Ohno barges into the conversation and I suddenly feel very alone.
“I’ve got no miracle solution.” I murmur pitifully. “I’m terrified.”
Aiba pats my shoulder and for a moment, we remain silent. Why didn’t I ask help early, it’s so relieving to share my sorrows with someone else, to speak them out loud.
“Well…I don’t really have either but avoiding him is surely the worst solution. If you love him…” Begins Jun.
“I do.” I smirk in spite of my heavy heart.
“So, you’ll find a way to stay together in spite of the distance.”
“But my parents~”
“Your parents are another problem. For now, talk to him, he will understand.” Adds Jun.
I’m about to argue but he’s right. I nod and two days later, they found me with this fishy weekend, pretending that two days between friends will help us to release the tension.
I could lie and pretend I swallow their huge lie but I knew from the start we’ll be the two of us only.
After two hours the bus leaves us at the bottom of a trail, a little wooden sign showing the way of the ryokan.
“Let’s go.” I grab his bag and put my bag pack on my shoulders, reaching out for him to take my hand. He smirks, grips it and if my heart flusters my mind is finally in peace. It’s been too long since we didn’t touch. Is it the answer I waited?
After ten minutes, the ryokan is in sight, the landlady walks to us and my hand is suddenly free. She’s dressed in kimono, her hair prettily braided. She’s probably the same age as my own grandmother.
“I’ll show you the way.” She said with a ceremonious smile.
“Thanks.”
This is a very traditional ryokan, smelling woods and wax. We come cross some couples, principally aged people and no one pay attention to us.
The room is big and we can leave it through a sliding panel. I let the bags fall on the floor and the woman stares at us insistently, visibly aware that we’re more than mere friends. And surprisingly, I don’t care at all, she can think what she wants, there’s nothing wrong to be in love.
“The dinner will be served at 7 and for the time being you can visit the onsen, the towels are on the site. It’s in the mountain; you’ll find signs on your way, starting from the ryokan. If you need something, I’m always around.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you.” Repeats Nino as she leaves the room after a last bow.
I turn around and feel suddenly awkward. And now, what will we do? I can’t really forget that we’re here to spend the night together.
“Shall we go for a walk?” I propose idiotically.
He nods and follows me outside. I can’t help but be restless; I have the feeling to walk on eggshells with him. I can’t blame him for being so distant, I’m unforgivable. After all, I ran away at the worst moment.
“Have you already visited an onsen?”
“Never. My mother can’t afford it.” What a moron! Why did I ask? As if I wanted to slap him with my parent’s money once more.
“Oh…I see.” Shut the fuck up, idiot!
He suddenly burst out laughing and I face him, startled.
“What?”
“You’re so embarrassed. My family is poor, it’s not a secret. I’m glad to do it for the first time with you.”
I blush under the insinuation, and look at my feet. But he grips my hand, intertwines our fingers and drags me on the footpath.
While we’re walking I remember the first time we met. At that time, I was so unaware of his feelings. Well, I’m still so clueless.
“Nino?”
“Hm?”
“I…took the test for the Medicine University.”
“At Tokyo?”
“Yeah…at Tokyo. Sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because we’ll be apart.”
“I guess it’s unavoidable. It’s for our studies and I still don’t know if I’ll obtain my student’s grant.”
“I’m sure you’ll do, you’re the best student of the school.”
“I don’t know if I want it…” It’s just a moan but I pull hard his hand to force him to face me.
“What are you talking about?!” I groan.
“I could ask for Tokyo too.”
“But you want to be musician! Why would you~” I’m suddenly struck by lightning “No way! You’ll go to Kyoto and I’ll go to Tokyo. Whatever…”
He smirks maliciously and whistles a “Got you!”
Okay I’ve learned my lesson. Of course, he can’t give up to his dream to follow me but it has nothing to do with the love I have for him. It sounds so simple suddenly, crystal-clear.
“Sorry…”
“What for?”
“For running away last time.”
“Oh…that.”
I crouch on the ground and pull on his hand to make him sit close to me.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, it’s just…it’s a commitment, right?”
“A commitment?”
He decided to play hard and I won’t get through this without swallowing my shame until the end.
“I mean sex…sex is a commitment.”
“Indeed. And?”
“Don’t mock me please…I’m serious with you, but this university story and my parents…I’m lost.”
“Perhaps…don’t know…could we do things at our pace, step by step. See where we’re heading and your parents…I mean, it’s not a proposal. Just a way to be together, to be happy together.”
“I love you.”
I lean forward and peck his lips amorously. He blushes nicely and whispers a “That’s all it matters, I guess.”
“You’re right. So~”
“So?”
“Perhaps could we visit the onsen before dinner?”
We’ll have to go back in town tomorrow and time is already flying by too quickly, the moments we share in one-to-one are too rare.
*
There are a few people already chatting in the water and I swallow a sigh of disappointment. Now that we talked openly I can’t wait to be alone with him. Or I fear this moment. I don’t know anymore.
As I cautiously get into the water, I feel his gaze on me, or rather on my body and I take the time to enjoy it, to feel a desire he used to hide so well. He enters the water at his turn, reaching a corner to sit at the bottom of the source…I smirk and join him, greeting the people on my way, apologizing for interrupting their conversations.
I sense his arm against mine, his hand grabbing mine under the water and I put it on my thigh, avoiding his offended look. But soon, I’m the one to be embarrassed, feeling my body reacting rapidly at his caress. As the old man next to me is talking about the good old time when he had to go through the mountain to go to school, I try to focus. Impossible when we didn’t touch since two long weeks…
I move aside, releasing his hand cowardly and answer to the old man.
Yet we wait the last minute to exit the water, cautiously dressing one after another. When I go out of the restroom he’s waiting for me and I see it in his eyes. The desire to be kissed.
“Nino, we can’t~”
But I swallow the end of the phrase in his eager kiss. He nailed me to the wall and I let my bag pack falling on the floor to grip his hips and hug him. He’s already between my legs and he clings to me, his arms around my neck, I can’t even think about the fact that we’re outside, exposed. I slide my hands to his butt, stroking it shamelessly but this time he’s the reasonable one. He moves back and puts his palms on my chest to keep me away. I try to kiss him again but he shakes his head.
“Let’s go back to the room.”
We walk fast to the ryokan and once the threshold of the bedroom passed, I grab his waist and he giggles but a knock at the door followed by steps noises, stop us. The landlady enters the room, a tray full of food in her hands, her gaze modestly on the floor.
“Excuse me. This is the dinner.”
Nino is red as Hell and he strode to reach the other side of the room, opening his bag to hide his embarrassment in front of the strict woman.
She leaves the room after a last disagreeable gaze in our direction.
“Nino, she’s gone…Nino?”
He doesn’t move at all, still kneeled on the floor and I join him, worried.
“What?”
“Did Jun do something with your bag or something yesterday?”
“I don’t get what you mean…”
“Masaki came at my place yesterday, played with my stuffs and now…these things are in my bag.”
He takes out a little plastic bag and I immediately dig into mine to find…an identical package. Lubricant, condoms and tissue, nothing missing. Well done, guys, you know how to drag down an atmosphere.
“I didn’t know.” I mumble awkwardly.
“Me either…don’t mind.”
“They knew I won’t have the guts to buy it myself. I guess, I hoped, somehow that when the moment would come we’ll find a way. It kills the romance, right?”
He leans forward and cups my face to peck my lips but this time, I don’t let him go. I draw him to me and make him straddle my legs, cursing noisily when a new knock at our door disturbs us.
Nino moves aside, chuckling more than he should and I strode keeping the door ajar as the landlady talks about yukata prepared at our attention. I groan and close the door unceremoniously.
As soon as it’s closed, Nino puts his arms around my waist and his head between my shoulder blades. I smile.
I caress his hands, enjoying his sweet warmth. He pecks the nape of my neck and I shiver. Yet it’s almost nothing, a simple gesture of tenderness. I thought he would nail me to the wall like he did before but no…it’s something so much better and yet so tantalizing it's so achingly stressful for my sanity.
And it’s like a balm on my worries.
Yes, everything will be fine, the only obligations we have are the ones we chose for ourselves, my only guide is the desire I feel for him.
I turn around slowly and cup his face then half-close my eyelids to kiss his lips tenderly. His arms are still on my waist and they are resting loosely on the small of my back. I kiss him leisurely, deeply, gently bringing him to the center of the room.
“Do you want something to drink?” I say against his lips. A last escape route?
He shakes his head negatively, taking back my mouth, clinging more on me.
“What do you want?”
“You know what I want.”
He leaves me and drags me to the bedroom locking the door.
“The security system anti-Landlady…” He chuckles but I know it’s to hide his nervousness.
Strangely, it comforts me to see him not so brave in this moment. I come to him, sliding the hands under his T-shirt, putting my mouth at the crook of his neck. I crave for tenderness; I want to be close to him, that he cares for me. Even if I fear that he could wish me more ‘virile’, I can’t.
I can’t do that with him. With some girls before, perhaps because I wasn’t in love. But with Nino it’s so different. I’m afraid but I want to get over this fear because I want to be his’ more than everything, because I want him to be mine even a bit. The future…in this very moment, I don’t give a shit about it. I kneel on the futon and take off his T-shirt for good. We’re so different, he’s thin when I’m muscular, his skin is like porcelain yet he’s manly. His deep gaze, his movements, gracious but assured, his fake self-confidence. Even if here, in this bedroom, it vanished.
His lips are parted and he seems to be ready to let me lead the dance. Yet, I know nothing. I don’t know what will happen; I don’t know what he wants from me. I only possess this desire which makes me lose ground.
I kiss his chest, clumsily and he brushes my hair, remaining silent. It’s confusing and pretty stressful for me. And if I’m a bad lover, will he laugh about me? I take off my own top and he kneels at his turn, making me lay against him, on my side. Torso against torso, our breathing becomes short, waiting a first move from the other.
He grabs the nape of my neck and pulls me to him. I move forward a bit, stuck to him totally, taking his lips once again. It seems to me that I wait this moment since ages. It seems to me that it’s been ages since I fear it.
I’d like to tell my reluctance, my doubts, but I don’t want to frighten him; so I keep my mouth shut and close my eyes, kissing him eagerly. We intertwine our legs and I feel his erection against my thigh. He moves his hips, caressing his manhood against me without a word, only my own moan breaks the silence.
I want to touch him, to feel him, but I don’t want to rush things, giving too much reality to our story. I want to stay for a bit in my fantasy. After this, there will be no more mysteries between us. What if it’s awful and what if we figure out that we aren’t meant to be together? Will it be the end of the desire he feels for me?
I feel his hands sliding along my chest and caressing my stomach, above my belt. His kisses are deeper and I follow his lead. Like him, I slide my hands from his back to his soft belly. I slip my index finger into his belt, caressing his pubic hair and the head of his sex takes the room I offer.
Nino unbuckles his belt and I know he’s encouraging me to imitate him. We already did it. Caressing, masturbating, cuming onto our underwear, it’s not the first time but it has never been mere preliminaries. Knowing that it’s only the beginning makes me feel things differently. I unbutton his pants hastily and slide my hand into his trunk to take out his sex. He moans loudly and for a moment stops his kisses, taking the time to get used to the caress. I like that. I figured out I liked that with him. Caressing his softness, his length, his rigidity. The pre-cum eases my to-and-fro movements, wetting my hand. I gasp when his fist wraps my member not so gently. He wants to catch up.
With his other hand, he frees my butt and with some kicks I get rid of my pants, tossing it far from the futon. I take off his’ too and without waiting anymore, I caress his buttocks, putting his thigh on my hips. I still ignore what we’ll do. I still ignore what will be my answer if he wants to take me. I'll simply go with the flow. Anyway, I can’t step back and I don’t want to. It seems so natural that it would be sacrilege to stop it.
Feeling his hand mirroring mine, caressing my butt, I sigh with abandon. If I forget my fear, it’s good, his index finger on my entrance. I don’t know if he likes my docility but being his’ excites me madly. I take off my trunk and his, tossing them on the floor in one go. This is the very first time that we are fully naked together. He makes me roll over and lays on me, smiling to me, caressing me languidly then he ties my hands above my head with his’. He sounds so deadly serious suddenly. Did I do something wrong?
Yet he’s still hard against my lower belly and a glance at his crotch confirms my feeling. Don’t stop now, I want to scream.
He closes his eyes and kisses me softly, sticking his chest to mine, finally swaying his hips, caressing his member with mine. He drives me crazy.
He leans on me and kisses my jaw then my neck and I feel his hot breath against my skin, the sensual caresses of his body against mine. He releases one of my hand and reaches out to grab the lubricant and the condoms. He wets his fingers and I tense a bit, waiting for his intrusion but…he prepares himself. My heart skips a beat as I observe him, fascinated, thrilling with anticipation. He didn’t say a word and I can only stare at him as he rolls a condom on my length. Finally he kisses me and I murmur:
“Tell me if it hurts.”
He lies down and opens his arms to me. I place between his parted legs and I feel him hard, so hard against my lower belly. We kiss for a while but I’m dying to take him now.
I move back, sit and place my member against his hole. And I panic again. Not because what I’m about to do, but because of the powerful desire I feel for him and the sudden realization of my silliness. Why did I refuse these pure moments of felicity before?
I try to remember all the good reasons I had to doubt but I can’t, so I penetrate him slowly. He tenses under me and naturally my hand wraps around his sex to ease the pain I make him feel. But I don’t want to stop, I can’t and I know he won’t either. I try to keep a slow pace, the one he likes. I groan with pleasure again and again. I was wrong, it’s better than anything I could imagine. His moans, his gaze full of lust and innocence mixed, his hands on my back to encourage my movements as I lean on him…everything is perfection in him. I can’t resist anymore and I kiss him again, eventually moving faster.
“Touch me” He whispers at my ear and I slid my hand between us again to caress him. One and two to-and-fro movements and he spurts his semen in my hand. I straighten and a few seconds later, I climax violently.
Oh my god…
I won’t ever feel this with anyone else. This realization terrorizes me and I can’t totally let the bliss overwhelm me. I lie down on him, tasting his sweat on the tip of my tongue, eventually leaving his belly. What can I say? That I love him like a fool and that I’m afraid because I never ever felt anything so strong?
I open my mouth but he cuts me, hugging me hard, hiding his mouth against my shoulder.
“I love you Sho.”
That’s it.
Now I can be totally happy.
* NINO *
I can’t look at him. Can I?
I take a glance towards his sleeping silhouette by my side, smiling like a fool. It was pure magic, far better than anything I could imagine. I love him so much, more than yesterday.
He’s handsome, isn’t he?
I’d like to shout it to the world. Look at my lover! My lover? It’s so strange. I blush like a fool and focus on the shadow on the ceiling. I reach out and my hand is like a bird. I jerk when his hand joins mine creating a new silhouette.
“Ohayo.” He said, opening his eyes, kissing my shoulder. “Did you sleep well?”
“You?”
“I slept very well. What time is it?”
“7 we still have one hour. The bus leaves at 9.”
I keep my hand in his and rest my cheek on his chest, my legs negligently on his stomach. His hand runs from my back to my flank and I can repress a thrill of anticipation when it brushes my butt. Is he asking permission?
I move closer and his unmoving fingers are now between my cheeks at a very strategic place. Oh God…I won’t ever desire anyone the way I desire him. It’s so good. I move my hips, caressing his hips with my half-erected sex and his fingers become more adventurous.
I raise my gaze and meet his’.
“Again?” He asks huskily.
“Please.”
I don’t care about tomorrow, who knows what we will do tomorrow? We’re in love and for now it’s more than enough.
Author : WendyJoly
Pairing : Guess who~
Rating : NC-17
Beta :
chibipinkpetals♥Genre : First time, awkwardness and love
Summary : The first time is a very difficult step to take...
Note: This OS is part of the serie "The last time you and I", you can find the first part ->Here
NINO
"Sleep at my place tonight? Guys?"
I stare at the others, the three others more precisely, avoiding on purpose the couch where Sho is sitting.
“It’s already late, I pass.” I moan, smiling naturally, already grabbing my backpack to close it. “Keep the video games, I already finished them…”
They are looking at Sho as if he had something to say but he simply keeps on playing, focused on his level, vaguely rising the hand to signify he’ll stay at Oh-chan’s place for the night. After a quick wave, I exit the bedroom, say goodbye to Satoshi’s parents and put on my shoes quickly.
I’m on the street when someone pats my shoulder, freaking me out, I sigh deeply when my gaze crosses Aiba’s.
“You scared me to death, stupid!”
“You thought it was Sho.”
“Not at all.”
“Liar.”
“What do you want?”
“I’m bringing you home.”
“You don’t have to, I mean it. The building is near.”
“I’m happy to do it and the guys will still be there when I get back.”
“Okay.”
He places his arm around my shoulder and succeeds to keep quiet for at least…five minutes, before touching THE subject.
“Something happened between you and Sho? I mean, you’re always stuck to each other and since a few days, you can’t even cross his gaze. I’m worried.”
“You don’t have to, it’s just…we’re not on the same wave length that’s all.”
“Since when? And the same wave length about what?”
Gosh, I don’t want to talk about this. I know I’ll die of shame if I simply evocate this night. But Aiba, as strange as it seems, always gives me good advice.
“Things are unclear between us. I’d like a commitment…somehow.”
“And he refused?”
“Clearly.”
“Wait, wait, Sho is Mister Commitment.”
“Well, not with me.”
I can help but sound to be bitter, I hate this, but Masaki is right, Sho is Mister Commitment usually. That’s surely why it’s so hard to swallow.
“Whatever happened, you could tell me.”
We’re in front of my building and I have to take a decision. I bite my lip thoughtfully and open the door to let him come in. My mother is still working and once the threshold passed, I go to the kitchen where I boil water.
He sits on a chair and I do the same, pouring us a tea. I’m grateful to him for being so quiet, it helps me to organize my thoughts and get over my natural shyness.
“Do you remember the last time we slept at Sho’s place?”
“Sure.”
“Well…”
=+=
2 weeks early
“Are you staying? My parents work tonight.”
I’m on the floor beside Sho and inconspicuously he put his arm around my shoulder. Six months have passed since the weekend in the mountains and I couldn’t be more in love with him. He didn’t really change; he was still so active in all kind of club activities, he was still Oh-chan, Masaki and Jun-kun’s best friend.
But he was my boyfriend too.
Absentmindedly, he caressed my neck with his thumb and I blushed idiotically, happy beyond words that no one seemed to be shocked by our lovey dovey behavior. As if it was natural for this handsome guy to be MY boyfriend. No way! Every day I had to pinch myself to admit it was true, that he really liked me.
We were playing video games and around midnight, Sho turned off the lights and chose a DVD. I was so fond of the way he seemed to always be able to take the right decision in any kind of circumstances. It was comfortable and so reassuring for me who was so insecure and so poorly self-confident.
The rest of the guys laid down on the futons on the floor and Sho patted the place by his side, on his bed. I crawled to him and we slid under the sheets. After half an hour, Oh-chan snored noisily, Ma-chan surreptitiously stuck his futon to Jun’s and he was in his arms. No one sounded to be interested by the DVD anymore except Sho. I didn’t even know what it was about, too troubled by his warmth by my side.
It was not the first time we slept on the same bed, obviously, when you’re two guys, it’s common but I had to admit, I never really slept. How could I?!
Jun was finally asleep too and Sho laid down on the mattress and looked at me with a smirk, nibbling his thumb.
“What?” I murmured.
“Nothing. I'm just looking at you, that’s all.”
I blushed hard and hid my face idiotically onto my arm. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me to him, cupping my face and kissing my lips, making me giggle.
“Hush…they are sleeping.”
“So you should stop kissing me.” I whispered, obviously wishing he keeps on.
“No way. We can’t kiss at school and we’re never alone when we’re home. I don’t intend to waste the occasion.”
He made me roll over, gently brushed a strand of hair from my forehead and his dead serious face thrilled me. I didn’t know what he had in mind but I was ready for whatever it could be. My hands were flatly unmoving on my stomach but he raised my T-shirt and stroked tenderly my sides, resuming his kisses. My hands began to move by themselves and since he took the initiative, I guess I could caress his back too. Oh gosh, he took off his tank top and smiled to me, pecking my neck. I raised my leg and felt my toes curling shamelessly under his ministrations, it was so good.
“Nino…”
He murmured my name, his hand slipped to my hips then my thighs, his own leg slid between mine. He was already so hard…should I be afraid? On contrary, it was thrilling to be so desired and I readjusted my position to let him feel my own excitement. What should I do now? My mind worked the best it could, not really well to be true, and once again he took the decision for us when his hips moved against mine. I felt his hardness through the material and all I could do was to cling on him and raised the other leg to feel him better. His hand went down, caressed the small of my back and after a second of stillness, glided into my pajamas, caressing the tender skin of my buttock and definitely making me lose my mind. I kissed him deeply, moving faster against him to rub his member against mine, totally forgetting that our friends were sleeping so close to us. On this bed, we were in a bubble and there was nothing or noone else than Sho and me and all the wonderful sensations he made me feel. I didn’t even try to repress the pleasure I felt, even when a wave like a tsunami devastated me and made me spread my semen in my pants. He froze suddenly, arching his back and swallowing a moan of delight I guessed in my mouth, releasing his hot load between us.
I was dead, that’s all I could think in this very moment. I was dead and happy in paradise; I hid my face at the crook of his neck and whispered, suddenly exhilarated:
“I want to make love to you.”
=+=
“And?”
“And what? He ran off the bed.” I admit pitifully.
Masaki whistles appreciatively and sips his tea.
“You ask him to make love and~”
“~and he ran away.”
“Since then he avoids you and you avoid him. It’s clear.”
“It’s clear? What’s clear?”
“He’s shy.”
“He isn’t shy! Sho is never shy. Maybe I am not exciting enough for him?”
“He’s a teenager; even a shabby carpet is exciting for a teenager.”
“Thanks.”
“You know what I mean. Of course, since you almost did it and when he looks at you he could eat you alive..."
“That’s what I can’t get. Oh gosh, I screwed up everything between us.” I cover my messy face with my hands and Masaki gently pats my head.
“Talk to him.”
“After what I did?! No way! I talked and…now he doesn’t even dare to look at me in the eye.”
“So give him time. Sho is very cautious, he never decides anything on a whim and I’m pretty sure he takes this like a real commitment. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. On the contrary.”
I stare at him, trying to figure out if it’s a gentle way to reassure me. But he sounds to be so sincere that I can only see a little hope in his arguments. After all, he’s Sho childhood’s friend, he knows him better than anyone.
“Well, I have to go back or Jun will scold me. He’s so over protective sometimes.”
He puts on his jacket and his shoes.
“Thanks for the tea, Nino.”
“Ma-chan?”
“Hm?”
“Tell him…no, forget it, just thanks for the advice, I feel better.”
He leaves the apartment and for the first time in days, I sleep like a log. The next day, I see Oh-chan who spends the night at my place and two other days are necessary for me to run into Sho.
To be honest, I pretty much avoided him, too afraid to hear him saying he decided to break-up with me. Unexpectedly, the third day he’s leaning against my locker and he smiles brightly. I’m not really sure it’s good sign.
“This weekend. Me and the guys at the onsen, you’re in?”
“Are you sparing your words or are you trying a military kind of speech?”
“I try to be concise.”
“Why should you? You didn’t speak to me so much lately…”
“I know you’re angry, you blame me for the way I treat you and I blame myself too. Sorry. This little travel could be the occasion to talk.”
I’m dying to…but I don’t want to talk if it’s to say we’re better separated.
“I don’t have the money to go to an onsen.” It’s true, my mother barely manages to pay the bills, so an onsen is out of question.
“I already have the place. Jun won them at a lottery. It’s free…”
“Lucky man…”
“Please…Kazu-chan…”
I can’t resist when he calls me Kazu and he knows it too well, it’s so unfair. I simply nod and three days later we’re like two idiots on the sidewalk, waiting the guys to climb in the bus which will drive us to the onsen.
“I swear to you, I didn't know that they would cancel.” He sounds to be sincere and I can’t really help but be happy somehow, to spend an entire weekend with him only.
“Forget it.” I step forward and he grabs my bag to carry it into the bus.
Such a gentleman.
* SHO *
Everything went so wrong since that night.
“Are you staying? My parents are working tonight.”
I stared at my boyfriend, hoping he would accept to stay. Of course, I like my mates, but it's for Kazu only that I asked to my parents if they could sleep here. I caressed his face, making him blush shyly and a cloud of butterflies took off inside my belly like every time I touch him.
I can't get enough, I can't believe this wonderful person had accepted to be my boyfriend.
My boyfriend. It sounds strange for a guy who has always been THE boyfriend in his relationships.
He’s so precious. Far more than everyone I met during my entire life but bit by bit I figured out how much this love could be threatening for my well organized life.
I’m not a bad student and since my childhood I know I’ll join the University of my parents attended to and study medicine like they did; it was a given that I’d find a wife out there too.
But Nino barged into my life and everything changed.
My parents like him, of course, who wouldn’t? But I hide the true nature of our relationship, I just can’t tell them frankly I’m in love with a man, not yet. Thus, the entire bunch sleeping at my place.
It won’t change the man I am, it won’t change the way I want to lead my life but if I chose this path, I have to give up the idea of having a traditional family. It’s perfectly okay for me if Nino accepts to share my life but what would I say to my parents? Isn’t too soon to even think about it?
I postpone the idea of talking to them about this, take my time and enjoy our actual lovey dovey relationship, without really thinking further. We didn’t really make love and I convince myself that it makes a difference.
That night, I used my usual trick to cuddle him, trying to forget that the morning will come fast enough, that soon I’ll have to go back to my reality. On my bed, when no one else pays attention to us, we kiss and caress but this time, more than before, I had a hard time to repress my excitement. As I just climaxed, he whispered to me this sentence: “I want to make love to you.”
I panicked and jumped out of the bed, crimsoned.
Since then, I haven't faced him, unable to be clear and he blames me for this shameful switch-a-roo.
How can I explain that I’m afraid, that even if I ached to make love to him, I can’t hurt him more than I’m already doing? How can I explain that I fear my parent’s reaction? His mother knows we’re in love and she roots for us but I can’t expect the same freedom of thought with my parents. I know they’ll turn their back on me.
If we never made love perhaps will it be easier for him to bid me farewell when I’ll leave for University?
Well…I forgot too hastily the hellish trio and his priceless advices.
“Why do you refuse to sleep with Nino?”
I always appreciated Aiba’s subtly and when he came back at Ohno’s place after his little walk with Nino, he’s mad at me.
“He told you?”
“Of course, he’s desperate. He thinks he’s an idiot or ugly to be laid…”
“Wait, wait…”
The two others are glaring at me, their mouth pinched on a silent reproach.
“I never said I didn’t want him~”
“No, you simply avoid him and let him think that you don’t love him!”
“Listen guys…” I put on the floor the joy pad and fold my legs, resting my chin on my knees. “Things are complicated. My parents…and I took the test for Tokyo University.”
“Great news. And what’s the link?” Asks Jun.
“Next semester I’ll probably leave town and Nino wants to study music at Kyoto. I want to protect him.”
“By hurting him?” Ohno barges into the conversation and I suddenly feel very alone.
“I’ve got no miracle solution.” I murmur pitifully. “I’m terrified.”
Aiba pats my shoulder and for a moment, we remain silent. Why didn’t I ask help early, it’s so relieving to share my sorrows with someone else, to speak them out loud.
“Well…I don’t really have either but avoiding him is surely the worst solution. If you love him…” Begins Jun.
“I do.” I smirk in spite of my heavy heart.
“So, you’ll find a way to stay together in spite of the distance.”
“But my parents~”
“Your parents are another problem. For now, talk to him, he will understand.” Adds Jun.
I’m about to argue but he’s right. I nod and two days later, they found me with this fishy weekend, pretending that two days between friends will help us to release the tension.
I could lie and pretend I swallow their huge lie but I knew from the start we’ll be the two of us only.
After two hours the bus leaves us at the bottom of a trail, a little wooden sign showing the way of the ryokan.
“Let’s go.” I grab his bag and put my bag pack on my shoulders, reaching out for him to take my hand. He smirks, grips it and if my heart flusters my mind is finally in peace. It’s been too long since we didn’t touch. Is it the answer I waited?
After ten minutes, the ryokan is in sight, the landlady walks to us and my hand is suddenly free. She’s dressed in kimono, her hair prettily braided. She’s probably the same age as my own grandmother.
“I’ll show you the way.” She said with a ceremonious smile.
“Thanks.”
This is a very traditional ryokan, smelling woods and wax. We come cross some couples, principally aged people and no one pay attention to us.
The room is big and we can leave it through a sliding panel. I let the bags fall on the floor and the woman stares at us insistently, visibly aware that we’re more than mere friends. And surprisingly, I don’t care at all, she can think what she wants, there’s nothing wrong to be in love.
“The dinner will be served at 7 and for the time being you can visit the onsen, the towels are on the site. It’s in the mountain; you’ll find signs on your way, starting from the ryokan. If you need something, I’m always around.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you.” Repeats Nino as she leaves the room after a last bow.
I turn around and feel suddenly awkward. And now, what will we do? I can’t really forget that we’re here to spend the night together.
“Shall we go for a walk?” I propose idiotically.
He nods and follows me outside. I can’t help but be restless; I have the feeling to walk on eggshells with him. I can’t blame him for being so distant, I’m unforgivable. After all, I ran away at the worst moment.
“Have you already visited an onsen?”
“Never. My mother can’t afford it.” What a moron! Why did I ask? As if I wanted to slap him with my parent’s money once more.
“Oh…I see.” Shut the fuck up, idiot!
He suddenly burst out laughing and I face him, startled.
“What?”
“You’re so embarrassed. My family is poor, it’s not a secret. I’m glad to do it for the first time with you.”
I blush under the insinuation, and look at my feet. But he grips my hand, intertwines our fingers and drags me on the footpath.
While we’re walking I remember the first time we met. At that time, I was so unaware of his feelings. Well, I’m still so clueless.
“Nino?”
“Hm?”
“I…took the test for the Medicine University.”
“At Tokyo?”
“Yeah…at Tokyo. Sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because we’ll be apart.”
“I guess it’s unavoidable. It’s for our studies and I still don’t know if I’ll obtain my student’s grant.”
“I’m sure you’ll do, you’re the best student of the school.”
“I don’t know if I want it…” It’s just a moan but I pull hard his hand to force him to face me.
“What are you talking about?!” I groan.
“I could ask for Tokyo too.”
“But you want to be musician! Why would you~” I’m suddenly struck by lightning “No way! You’ll go to Kyoto and I’ll go to Tokyo. Whatever…”
He smirks maliciously and whistles a “Got you!”
Okay I’ve learned my lesson. Of course, he can’t give up to his dream to follow me but it has nothing to do with the love I have for him. It sounds so simple suddenly, crystal-clear.
“Sorry…”
“What for?”
“For running away last time.”
“Oh…that.”
I crouch on the ground and pull on his hand to make him sit close to me.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, it’s just…it’s a commitment, right?”
“A commitment?”
He decided to play hard and I won’t get through this without swallowing my shame until the end.
“I mean sex…sex is a commitment.”
“Indeed. And?”
“Don’t mock me please…I’m serious with you, but this university story and my parents…I’m lost.”
“Perhaps…don’t know…could we do things at our pace, step by step. See where we’re heading and your parents…I mean, it’s not a proposal. Just a way to be together, to be happy together.”
“I love you.”
I lean forward and peck his lips amorously. He blushes nicely and whispers a “That’s all it matters, I guess.”
“You’re right. So~”
“So?”
“Perhaps could we visit the onsen before dinner?”
We’ll have to go back in town tomorrow and time is already flying by too quickly, the moments we share in one-to-one are too rare.
*
There are a few people already chatting in the water and I swallow a sigh of disappointment. Now that we talked openly I can’t wait to be alone with him. Or I fear this moment. I don’t know anymore.
As I cautiously get into the water, I feel his gaze on me, or rather on my body and I take the time to enjoy it, to feel a desire he used to hide so well. He enters the water at his turn, reaching a corner to sit at the bottom of the source…I smirk and join him, greeting the people on my way, apologizing for interrupting their conversations.
I sense his arm against mine, his hand grabbing mine under the water and I put it on my thigh, avoiding his offended look. But soon, I’m the one to be embarrassed, feeling my body reacting rapidly at his caress. As the old man next to me is talking about the good old time when he had to go through the mountain to go to school, I try to focus. Impossible when we didn’t touch since two long weeks…
I move aside, releasing his hand cowardly and answer to the old man.
Yet we wait the last minute to exit the water, cautiously dressing one after another. When I go out of the restroom he’s waiting for me and I see it in his eyes. The desire to be kissed.
“Nino, we can’t~”
But I swallow the end of the phrase in his eager kiss. He nailed me to the wall and I let my bag pack falling on the floor to grip his hips and hug him. He’s already between my legs and he clings to me, his arms around my neck, I can’t even think about the fact that we’re outside, exposed. I slide my hands to his butt, stroking it shamelessly but this time he’s the reasonable one. He moves back and puts his palms on my chest to keep me away. I try to kiss him again but he shakes his head.
“Let’s go back to the room.”
We walk fast to the ryokan and once the threshold of the bedroom passed, I grab his waist and he giggles but a knock at the door followed by steps noises, stop us. The landlady enters the room, a tray full of food in her hands, her gaze modestly on the floor.
“Excuse me. This is the dinner.”
Nino is red as Hell and he strode to reach the other side of the room, opening his bag to hide his embarrassment in front of the strict woman.
She leaves the room after a last disagreeable gaze in our direction.
“Nino, she’s gone…Nino?”
He doesn’t move at all, still kneeled on the floor and I join him, worried.
“What?”
“Did Jun do something with your bag or something yesterday?”
“I don’t get what you mean…”
“Masaki came at my place yesterday, played with my stuffs and now…these things are in my bag.”
He takes out a little plastic bag and I immediately dig into mine to find…an identical package. Lubricant, condoms and tissue, nothing missing. Well done, guys, you know how to drag down an atmosphere.
“I didn’t know.” I mumble awkwardly.
“Me either…don’t mind.”
“They knew I won’t have the guts to buy it myself. I guess, I hoped, somehow that when the moment would come we’ll find a way. It kills the romance, right?”
He leans forward and cups my face to peck my lips but this time, I don’t let him go. I draw him to me and make him straddle my legs, cursing noisily when a new knock at our door disturbs us.
Nino moves aside, chuckling more than he should and I strode keeping the door ajar as the landlady talks about yukata prepared at our attention. I groan and close the door unceremoniously.
As soon as it’s closed, Nino puts his arms around my waist and his head between my shoulder blades. I smile.
I caress his hands, enjoying his sweet warmth. He pecks the nape of my neck and I shiver. Yet it’s almost nothing, a simple gesture of tenderness. I thought he would nail me to the wall like he did before but no…it’s something so much better and yet so tantalizing it's so achingly stressful for my sanity.
And it’s like a balm on my worries.
Yes, everything will be fine, the only obligations we have are the ones we chose for ourselves, my only guide is the desire I feel for him.
I turn around slowly and cup his face then half-close my eyelids to kiss his lips tenderly. His arms are still on my waist and they are resting loosely on the small of my back. I kiss him leisurely, deeply, gently bringing him to the center of the room.
“Do you want something to drink?” I say against his lips. A last escape route?
He shakes his head negatively, taking back my mouth, clinging more on me.
“What do you want?”
“You know what I want.”
He leaves me and drags me to the bedroom locking the door.
“The security system anti-Landlady…” He chuckles but I know it’s to hide his nervousness.
Strangely, it comforts me to see him not so brave in this moment. I come to him, sliding the hands under his T-shirt, putting my mouth at the crook of his neck. I crave for tenderness; I want to be close to him, that he cares for me. Even if I fear that he could wish me more ‘virile’, I can’t.
I can’t do that with him. With some girls before, perhaps because I wasn’t in love. But with Nino it’s so different. I’m afraid but I want to get over this fear because I want to be his’ more than everything, because I want him to be mine even a bit. The future…in this very moment, I don’t give a shit about it. I kneel on the futon and take off his T-shirt for good. We’re so different, he’s thin when I’m muscular, his skin is like porcelain yet he’s manly. His deep gaze, his movements, gracious but assured, his fake self-confidence. Even if here, in this bedroom, it vanished.
His lips are parted and he seems to be ready to let me lead the dance. Yet, I know nothing. I don’t know what will happen; I don’t know what he wants from me. I only possess this desire which makes me lose ground.
I kiss his chest, clumsily and he brushes my hair, remaining silent. It’s confusing and pretty stressful for me. And if I’m a bad lover, will he laugh about me? I take off my own top and he kneels at his turn, making me lay against him, on my side. Torso against torso, our breathing becomes short, waiting a first move from the other.
He grabs the nape of my neck and pulls me to him. I move forward a bit, stuck to him totally, taking his lips once again. It seems to me that I wait this moment since ages. It seems to me that it’s been ages since I fear it.
I’d like to tell my reluctance, my doubts, but I don’t want to frighten him; so I keep my mouth shut and close my eyes, kissing him eagerly. We intertwine our legs and I feel his erection against my thigh. He moves his hips, caressing his manhood against me without a word, only my own moan breaks the silence.
I want to touch him, to feel him, but I don’t want to rush things, giving too much reality to our story. I want to stay for a bit in my fantasy. After this, there will be no more mysteries between us. What if it’s awful and what if we figure out that we aren’t meant to be together? Will it be the end of the desire he feels for me?
I feel his hands sliding along my chest and caressing my stomach, above my belt. His kisses are deeper and I follow his lead. Like him, I slide my hands from his back to his soft belly. I slip my index finger into his belt, caressing his pubic hair and the head of his sex takes the room I offer.
Nino unbuckles his belt and I know he’s encouraging me to imitate him. We already did it. Caressing, masturbating, cuming onto our underwear, it’s not the first time but it has never been mere preliminaries. Knowing that it’s only the beginning makes me feel things differently. I unbutton his pants hastily and slide my hand into his trunk to take out his sex. He moans loudly and for a moment stops his kisses, taking the time to get used to the caress. I like that. I figured out I liked that with him. Caressing his softness, his length, his rigidity. The pre-cum eases my to-and-fro movements, wetting my hand. I gasp when his fist wraps my member not so gently. He wants to catch up.
With his other hand, he frees my butt and with some kicks I get rid of my pants, tossing it far from the futon. I take off his’ too and without waiting anymore, I caress his buttocks, putting his thigh on my hips. I still ignore what we’ll do. I still ignore what will be my answer if he wants to take me. I'll simply go with the flow. Anyway, I can’t step back and I don’t want to. It seems so natural that it would be sacrilege to stop it.
Feeling his hand mirroring mine, caressing my butt, I sigh with abandon. If I forget my fear, it’s good, his index finger on my entrance. I don’t know if he likes my docility but being his’ excites me madly. I take off my trunk and his, tossing them on the floor in one go. This is the very first time that we are fully naked together. He makes me roll over and lays on me, smiling to me, caressing me languidly then he ties my hands above my head with his’. He sounds so deadly serious suddenly. Did I do something wrong?
Yet he’s still hard against my lower belly and a glance at his crotch confirms my feeling. Don’t stop now, I want to scream.
He closes his eyes and kisses me softly, sticking his chest to mine, finally swaying his hips, caressing his member with mine. He drives me crazy.
He leans on me and kisses my jaw then my neck and I feel his hot breath against my skin, the sensual caresses of his body against mine. He releases one of my hand and reaches out to grab the lubricant and the condoms. He wets his fingers and I tense a bit, waiting for his intrusion but…he prepares himself. My heart skips a beat as I observe him, fascinated, thrilling with anticipation. He didn’t say a word and I can only stare at him as he rolls a condom on my length. Finally he kisses me and I murmur:
“Tell me if it hurts.”
He lies down and opens his arms to me. I place between his parted legs and I feel him hard, so hard against my lower belly. We kiss for a while but I’m dying to take him now.
I move back, sit and place my member against his hole. And I panic again. Not because what I’m about to do, but because of the powerful desire I feel for him and the sudden realization of my silliness. Why did I refuse these pure moments of felicity before?
I try to remember all the good reasons I had to doubt but I can’t, so I penetrate him slowly. He tenses under me and naturally my hand wraps around his sex to ease the pain I make him feel. But I don’t want to stop, I can’t and I know he won’t either. I try to keep a slow pace, the one he likes. I groan with pleasure again and again. I was wrong, it’s better than anything I could imagine. His moans, his gaze full of lust and innocence mixed, his hands on my back to encourage my movements as I lean on him…everything is perfection in him. I can’t resist anymore and I kiss him again, eventually moving faster.
“Touch me” He whispers at my ear and I slid my hand between us again to caress him. One and two to-and-fro movements and he spurts his semen in my hand. I straighten and a few seconds later, I climax violently.
Oh my god…
I won’t ever feel this with anyone else. This realization terrorizes me and I can’t totally let the bliss overwhelm me. I lie down on him, tasting his sweat on the tip of my tongue, eventually leaving his belly. What can I say? That I love him like a fool and that I’m afraid because I never ever felt anything so strong?
I open my mouth but he cuts me, hugging me hard, hiding his mouth against my shoulder.
“I love you Sho.”
That’s it.
Now I can be totally happy.
* NINO *
I can’t look at him. Can I?
I take a glance towards his sleeping silhouette by my side, smiling like a fool. It was pure magic, far better than anything I could imagine. I love him so much, more than yesterday.
He’s handsome, isn’t he?
I’d like to shout it to the world. Look at my lover! My lover? It’s so strange. I blush like a fool and focus on the shadow on the ceiling. I reach out and my hand is like a bird. I jerk when his hand joins mine creating a new silhouette.
“Ohayo.” He said, opening his eyes, kissing my shoulder. “Did you sleep well?”
“You?”
“I slept very well. What time is it?”
“7 we still have one hour. The bus leaves at 9.”
I keep my hand in his and rest my cheek on his chest, my legs negligently on his stomach. His hand runs from my back to my flank and I can repress a thrill of anticipation when it brushes my butt. Is he asking permission?
I move closer and his unmoving fingers are now between my cheeks at a very strategic place. Oh God…I won’t ever desire anyone the way I desire him. It’s so good. I move my hips, caressing his hips with my half-erected sex and his fingers become more adventurous.
I raise my gaze and meet his’.
“Again?” He asks huskily.
“Please.”
I don’t care about tomorrow, who knows what we will do tomorrow? We’re in love and for now it’s more than enough.
