Wicked Games (7/10)
Jun. 14th, 2014 05:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wendyjolyTitle : Wicked Games
Author: WendyJoly
Pairing : Sakumiya/ Sakumoto
Length : chaptered
Beta : My precious![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chibipinkpetals
Genre : Music, sex and love
Disclaimer : I own nothing but Arashi surely owns my soul
Summary : Sho Sakurai and Jun Matsumoto live together since seven years and their life sounds to be perfectly organized…too well-organized according Sho’s opinion. When Sho’s Boss hires a new trainee and entrusts him, it’s a real Earthquake for the journalist…
PART VII
“I’m confused…”
“What about?” smiled Sho placing his wet palm against Nino’s forehead, pulling him more against his torso.
Nino moved his legs, creating a warm wave around them in the bathtub. He took all his time to answer, closing his eyes to appreciate his lover’s sweetness.
“About the fact that tomorrow is our last day together.”
“It will not be our last day together, Nino.”
“You know what I mean.”
Jun would come back by the last flight tomorrow and they couldn’t ignore that their relationship was an affair that needed to be hidden. Sho didn’t really come back home since a few days and their week somehow looked like a holiday. It was amazing.
Delectable to wake up together, to eat in silence, enjoying the sweetness of the moment, to make love a last time before going back to the world…luscious to crave for the others all day long, enjoying this sweet frustration knowing it won’t last for long.
Delightful were those nights so full of amorous discovery and endless marvels. So much that they didn’t speak Jun’s name, too evocative and painful.
“Yes, I know what you mean, so tell me.”
“I was wondering what would be the best. Stay together until the very last moment and that you leave this place to go find him or saying good bye tomorrow morning and you wait for him at home…your home.”
“Nino…this is not a choice.”
“It is.”
“Which would be less painful? None of them, so it’s not a choice.”
“So, what are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know what I could do tomorrow, if it’s your question. When he left, we promised to do everything to fix our couple. Today, I’m in your arms and sleeping elsewhere is killing me, do you think I still have the choice?”
“…”
“I’ll break up with him.”
“No!” Nino suddenly straightened to face him.
“No?!” Sho stared at him, incredulously.
“No, it’s out of question! And what will you do if you leave him?”
“We’ll be together, openly.”
“And you’d feel guilty.”
“We can’t have anything!”
“You can have everything.”
“Yeah, half of everything, nothing completely.”
“I don’t want.”
“Don’t you want us to be together?”
“The way we’re together currently is fine for me.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Not at all. I’m not like him, I’m not ‘reliable’. I can’t give you what he gives you.”
“What? What does he give me?”
“Stability.”
“Stability?”
“Emotional and financial. You said it, he’s a reliable man.”
“I don’t care about this…don’t you understand? A love relationship has nothing to do with some value. What he gives to me VS what you give to me?! It’s madness…who do you think I am, crap! I fuck you and I go back home quietly?”
“Precisely.”
He sounded to be deadly serious. Sho opened his mouth to argue back, then closed it seeing his lover’s fragile look.
“Tell me you don’t love him.” Whispered Nino, gazing at him straight in the eyes.
“There’s something else.”
“You’re gonna leave a man you’ve love for years for a man you barely know, who loves to be manhandled?”
“You’re the one that I want.”
“And you have me. Body and soul.”
“I don’t understand you. We…how could we do that?”
“We’ll keep on stealing moments, to enjoy our secret. And…”
“And?”
“I have someone too.”
“I tend to forget this, true.” Hissed Sho bitterly.
Nino kissed his pout and placed his hands around Sho’s neck, straddling him.
“I want the best for you. And if I have to share you, I’m ready to accept it.”
“I can’t. It’s unfair, for everybody.”
“Just a little bit, please. See where we’re heading.”
“Nino. Nino, you driving me crazy, you know?” murmured Sho losing himself once again in his caresses, a taste of jealousy on the tip of his tongue, before trying to stand up when he felt the usual concupiscence inside his stomach. Nino grabbed his wrist to keep him.
“Stay.”
“We can’t use a condom in the water and you already know that I can’t resist with you.”
“Come.” Said Nino with a husky voice, resuming his position and his kisses. “Like that.” He susurrated at Sho’s ear, taking their two cocks in his hand, caressing them languidly. The journalist let himself go against him, enjoying his blissful look then kissing his lips. He watched the hypnotic vein at the base of his neck which was pulsing, putting his lips on it, then his teeth stronger and stronger, hearing only Nino’s scream quickly turned into a moan of pleasure as they climaxed together.
They didn’t sleep this night, didn’t talk, letting their bodies speak, a feeling of nostalgia anticipating their separation.
Sho was laid on his stomach, caressing with the tip of his thumb Nino’s collarbone, touching the scarlet mark he left.
“Excuse me, I don’t know happened to me…does it hurt?”
“Don’t apologize.” Smirked Nino facing him. “I’m pretty happy. Happy you marked me.”
“It was not my intention.”
“Of course it was, Senpai. Kiss me, it’s almost the hour.”
♦♥♦
Jun didn’t contact Sho on that following day, and he presumed that he should be on his flight back. Strangely, the idea to see him again didn’t move him at all. He was more shocked by Nino’s behavior earlier.
It was totally insane. He didn’t have any experience in adultery but he always had the strange idea that a lover wanted to live openly his love relationship rather than hide it behind closed doors. But Nino was like no one and Sho had never been so destabilized in his life. It was so far from what he imagined.
Jun would notice that something happened during his absence, obviously. He wouldn’t hide it and come what may, Sho would confess the truth. As for the rest, it was pretty evident, Nino went out all day long for an interview, maybe on purpose for him to be alone – or with Masaki, whispered the little devil on his shoulder.
How could he be so exclusive, devoted…in love…and ask him to go with another man?
The only reason that Sho believes as to why Nino did not want him to leave Jun, was that maybe, Nino just wanted to be with Masaki, and he was okay with him for Sho to love another one at his ease.
Yet, as crazy as it sounds, him, the unfaithful man, was revolted to leave him to someone else. If he was sick of it before, today he was infuriated.
And not see him before coming back home was impossible, absolutely impossible. He couldn’t get enough of him, he couldn’t get enough to say how much he was essential to his life now, how much seeing him with another man tortured him.
“Jun comes back tonight?” tried Ohno as Sho was calling Nino once again, in vain.
“Yeah.”
“Are you calling him? Are you worried?”
“No, I’m not calling him, he should be in his plane now.”
“I see…”
“Call him, he will answer!” Said Sho handing the phone to Ohno.
“Are you out of mind? Don’t involve me in your problems, if he doesn’t want to talk to you, he surely has a good reason. Don’t you think it’s normal, since your man comes back today?”
“He drives me crazy, egotist and jealous…I’m scared to death.” Sho put the phone on his desk back.
“This is the joy of love, buddy, and I’m so happy to be single…”
“Don’t mock me.”
“But I want to mock you. Leave Nino alone and go to Jun. That’s the best thing to do for the time being.”
“I told him I wanted to be with him, to break up with Jun.
“And?”
“He refused. He wants to be the hidden lover…and enjoy his boyfriend, I guess.”
“I see.” Ohno nodded seriously.
“Stop it with your ‘I see’, I don’t have a clue about what’s in his mind, so go on, explain to me.”
“No.”
“No?!”
“No, you have to understand by your own, it’s more instructional.”
“Are…are you kidding on me?!” shouted Sho when he saw his boss walking to his office.
The journalist took his bag and left the editorial room hastily. He didn’t think further and drove to Nino’s loft. He didn’t care about what could happen, he just couldn’t leave things this way.
Nino’s car wasn’t parked there and the quays were deserted. He retrieved the key, hidden in a hole into the wall and dialed the code.
The room was engulfed by the sun sipping through windows and it was like when he left that morning. It was the first time he was alone in there and without the captivating presence of his lover he had the feeling to perceive the loft differently. The loft area gave off a nostalgic scent. He would have never thought that it was a deceased man house, probably mourned where nothing has changed. Not the pictures on the wall, not the Italian coffee maker on the big oven with six fires. And all those guitars.
Sho smiled and touched an instrument with several bullet holes. He would ask Nino what his story was behind this.
He went to the big desk on the other side of the room and opened the wooden curtain which covered it, finding some photo books. Nino at school, at Los Angeles, but alone on each photo, never smiling, gloomy for the biggest part.
A red pen like the one he had at the university attracted his look. A memory of how once his father had given him one of this pen since the kinder garden for each anniversary…this librarian loved his books and it was his way to cheer his son up.
“Are you here for a lesson?” Said a husky voice behind him. Sho turned back suddenly, surprised to see an old man taking off his hat and his coat to hang them on the coat-hanger at the entrance.
He stared at him, dumbfounded walking to him.
Wrinkled, strong despite his little silhouette, he reminded him someone definitely.
“I beg your pardon?” asked the man.
“Excuse me, I didn’t answer. Are you looking for someone?”
“You’re waiting a guitar lesson, isn’t it? You’re a friend of Kazunari? A Senpai from high school?”
“I’m his Senpai, true….from the university though…”
“He talks about you all day long!”
“I don’t think, excuse me…I only know him since…”
“Sit down, boy. I’m too old to stand here and I feel dizzy.” Smiled the old man, taking a guitar on his rack, naturally putting it on his knees.
He scratched the strings automatically and Sho felt his heart skipping a beat, he sat on the couch. Obviously, he was Nino’s dad, Nino’s deceased dad…?
“Do you want me to tell the moment I met Ray Charles?”
“You met Ray Charles?”
“Hm…what a man…a little bit too weak with women on my opinion. And on booze too…no need to talk about drug…what do you want to hear? A good old rock?”
“Dad?”
Sho raised his gaze on the new incomer who sounds totally lost. Nino was with Masaki and his eyes went from one man to the other.
“Oh, Masaki-kun is here too!” Said the old ma and Masaki took his hand immediately.
“Ninomiya-san, how are you?”
“Fine, fine…and you? You’re a real man now! How long since the last time?”
“We met last week, Kazunari was here too, do you remember?”
“Certainly, certainly, give me a second…last week you said?”
“Yes, at home.”
“Dad, why are you here? How did you get here?” whispered Nino crouching at the old man’s feet.
“With a cab, what the Hell! I’m not crazy, I can’t take my car!”
“I have your car, Dad. You shouldn’t come here, you could have lost your way…”
“Lose my way? This is my place here! And I have lessons to give today, who’s gonna pay the university for you if I don’t work, hm, could you tell me?”
“Dad, I’m graduated a couple years ago.”
“Rubbish!”
Nino went to Masaki and talked into his ear. The taller went out, his phone still in his hand. The guitarist took an instrument and sat, facing his father.
“Play with me, Dad.”
The old man stood still for a moment then relaxed gradually as his hands went back to the guitar. He followed his son’s lead and Sho’s breath caught in his throat, listening those two genius players playing a jazzy melody they surely knew by heart.
The old man closed his eyes and Masaki came back, waving Nino. This latter nodded.
When the song ended, he opened his eyelids and smiled happily, tears wetting his tired eyes. Nino put back his guitar on the rack.
“Dad…you have to come back.”
His father smirked gently.
“I know, son. I know. Bring me back.”
“Ma-chan will come with us.”
“Good. It was a pleasure to meet you.” He shook Sho’s hand.
“Me too, Ninomiya-san.”
Nino’s father put back the guitar cautiously, put back his hat on his head, his coat and took Masaki’s arm to go out.
“Why are you here?” Shouted Nino when they were alone.
“I wanted to see you. Nino, what’s this?”
“This what?”
“Your father. You said he was dead.”
“He is. His brain is dead. Sometimes he comes back, but it never last for long.”
“He’s ill?”
“Alzheimer.”
“You came back for him? To take care of him?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Nino, don’t close the door. I can help you.”
“Who asked you for help? I already have Masaki.”
Sho swallowed painfully. He wanted to scream.
“What am I for you?”
“A booty call. Now, excuse me I have to drive back my father to the hospital.”
He showed him the way to go out. Sho put his jacket back and went out like an automat. Masaki and Nino’s father were already sat into the car, waiting for him.
“Nino?”
But he didn’t answer, didn’t look at him and got into the car as his boyfriend started the engine. Sho stood still for a few minutes, motionless, thinking about what just happened. It changed a lot of things.
So it was true, he never intended to let him enter his life. It was insane. What was this? His father was ill and he took care of him…he took care of him with Masaki. And him? He just wanted to have fun, forgetting for a few hours his sorrows with a stranger who ignored his life. He thought they could become a couple, what a ridiculous ideal he had let himself believe.
Sho blamed himself to have been so naïve once again, hating his fucking romanticism which made him see a love story in a glaucous sex affair. Even if it has been the best time of his life. What he felt for him, this alchemy between them, it couldn’t have been faked, right?
He hailed a cab and gave his address. Anyway, he couldn’t come back to the journal now.
He was still on the road when his phone rang.
“Mochi mochi?”
“Sho, it’s me, can you pick me up?”
“Jun? You’re already at Narita?”
“We took a flight earlier.”
His voice was tired and tensed, no wonder after a so long flight.
“Wait for me, I’m on my way.”
He gave the new address to the driver and less than an hour they were at the airport. Night was already falling but the airport was still overcrowded. Sho put his hands into his pocket and looked around. Near a kiosk, his companion was chatting passionately with a small woman. She was on the verge of explosion, her fists clenched and her gaze determinate. What Jun did to her?
He decided to rescue the damsels in distress and stood by her side.
Jun leaped when he saw him.
“Oh, you’re here.”
“Hello, Jun. You must be Oshima-san.” He smiled to the woman he guessed to be the famous colleague.
“Exactly. Excuse me my outfit is a mess after this endless flight. Yuko Oshima.”
“Sakurai Sho.”
She observed him from head to toe slowly and she flinched perceptibly.
“You’re…you’re really good-looking.”
Sho burst out laugh.
“Thanks. You’re cute too.”
“Come, I’m tired.” Jun grabbed his wrist and dragged him till the exit.
“Do you want to dinner with us?” he said to the young woman.
“No, thanks.”
She turned tail without a good bye and Sho followed Jun’s lead.
“It was not very polite.” Whispered Sho once into the cab.
“We fight for nothing and she was vexed, I will apologize tomorrow. But…we didn’t see each other for three weeks and that’s all you have to say?” smiled Jun patting his thigh.
“Sorry. Okaeri.”
“Tadaima.”
“How was it?”
“Exhausting. I’m happy to be home.”
Sho looked outside the scenery in a blur, unable to find two words to say.
Once the threshold passed, Sho knew that nothing really changed. They didn’t talk during the way back and Sho quickly understood that the discussion time was over.
Jun left for three weeks after a night of love and the promise to take a new start for their couple, but today Sho had the feeling that it was only a dream. Jun had hung his vest at the entrance and once in the living room he had find back his usual wordlessness.
“I’m tired, I go to bed.”
Why wasn’t he really surprised? Why was he relieved? Sho tried to keep him a moment.
“You just said we didn’t see each other since three weeks and once home you run to bed? Are you hungry?”
“I ate on the plane.”
“Do you want to talk?”
“No, I don’t, I’m unable to make a proper sentence.”
“I won’t be offended if you yawn, you know.”
“Tomorrow, you want? By the way, dinner at my parent’s place tomorrow.”
“Jun? Something’s happened in London?”
“Nothing, of course, the routine that’s all.”
“You sound to be preoccupied.”
“I sound to be half asleep.”
Jun smirked and pecked Sho’s cheek, then vanished.
They had to eat with their parents tomorrow?
He knew it. They didn’t see him during three weeks, it can’t be helped. Sho didn’t argue and left his companion going to bed.
Nothing changed and obviously the good resolutions stayed on the airports’ tarmac.
A few months ago, Sho wouldn’t have been surprised by this behavior, but that was before. How could he only imagine seeing Nino after a separation and don’t feel the need to hold him tight, to make love to him? Was he now too demanding and spoiled?
He had always been the only one in their couple starved of tenderness and Jun told him he was too emotional, sensual…he embarrassed him. It was his way to avoid any physical contact out of their bed. But it was before Nino…Nino who looked for his caresses and knew how to obtain them.
He turned on his phone and left a nth message to the man of his thoughts, asking him to call, knowing he wouldn’t, then he slept on the couch to not wake Jun up.
When he woke up, Jun was already gone, a note on the table with the appointment time waited for him.
Sho tried to not think about Nino, blaming their journalist work which allowed them to spend their days outside. Ohno didn’t ask anything, Sho’s gloomy air was enough to make him understand that something was wrong in the Matsumoto and Sakurai world.
- * -
He went back home to change his outfit, he couldn’t eat with his step-parents if he didn’t wear a suit.
When the butler opened the door, Sho heard some noise coming from the little library near the kitchen. He recognized his companion’s and his step-mother’s voice. It was unusual enough to pick his curiosity. They didn’t get along, but they never raised the voice in each other’s presence.
Matsumoto-san greeted him and dragged him discreetly to the living room.
It was a beautiful house, a dreamy house for this librarian’s son. Jun has been raised in a privileged surrounding and it has been one of the difficulties they had to get through when they met. Jun was a rich spoiled child and Sho had made his place alone, without help. Sho vaguely looked the piano where tenth golden frames displayed Jun’s pictures.
“You should be surprised to hear them talking so loud.” Began Jun’s father with his natural diplomacy.
“Jun is angry?”
“His mother invited a couple of friends and she told him that their daughter would be here too. Apparently Jun knows her.”
“He dislike her?”
“It seems. Whiskey?”
“Please.”
“I think I’m going to take one too, we’ll need it.”
Sho took the drink and the two opponents joined them, a serein look on their faces. It was insane the way they could hide their feelings, thought Sho. Would they be able to pout if they were burnt?
He went to Jun after a brief bow to his step-mother and tried to know what happened.
“What’s happening?”
“She invited Oshima.” Answered briefly Jun.
“Oshima? Your colleague?”
“She’s the daughter of my fathers’ colleague.”
“You knew?”
“Not at the beginning. That’s why we fought yesterday. When she told me.”
“And what’s the problem, you don’t care.”
“…It was dishonest. She should have told me.”
“I see. You mother wants to marry you.”
“I guess. She surely was thrilled when she heard that she was part of the London delegation.”
“It’s not the first time she tries. Do as you usually do.”
“What do I usually do?”
“You’re…yourself.”
“Oi, what does it mean?”
“It means you’re scary and cold when you want.”
“I’m gonna do this. Be me.”
“Good.”
Sho wasn’t even able to be angry with his step-mother. It was mean …or tactless if you were nicer. She was so talented to forget that his son lived with a man thinking he just waited the woman of his life.
The famous family appeared soon and like always, Matsumoto mother introduced Sho as a “friend of his son”.
Yuko was pretty and elegant and Sho understood what she meant yesterday at the airport. Even if he was so far to appreciate the woman’s charm he couldn’t help but admitting she could content the pickiest of man. She greeted Sho, embarrassed, apologizing for the previous day and the fact that she had to come to this dinner. Mrs Matsumoto barged into the conversation and asked to the young woman to take a sit by Jun’s side.
She placed Sho by her side, probably to keep an eye on him.
Sho stared at his companion and Yuko talking joyfully, laughing together, wondering amused where his battle plan was gone. They shared so many thing the both of them. The same job, the same social rank and cultural, no wonder they got along so well.
“They get along really well, isn’t it?” Whispered his neighbour to Sho.
“I beg your pardon?” He turned to face her.
“My son and Yuko-chan. They are architect, love classical music and their families are friends.”
“You’re totally right.” Said Sho quietly.
“Really?”
“I’m not blind, Matsumoto-san. I can see how much they are assorted.”
“So, let him get married, having a family, children.”
Sho stared at her a few seconds, astonished to not read the usual disdain in her eyes, just the request of a woman searching for his child’s happiness.
“It’s not as simple as that.” Murmured Sho gently.
“I know, but if you could leave him for his own good…”
“He wouldn’t choose this woman, or even a woman.”
“I’ll help him.”
“I’m sure of it, Matsumoto-san. I’m not judging you and if I was sure that he would be happy with Oshima, I’ll do my best to push him. But I think that Jun~”
“He hates me, that’s what you mean? You think he will do his best to not satisfy me, to punish me to be a so pitiful mother for him?”
“I…sincerely I don’t know.” Confessed Sho.
She smiled tiredly and Sho saw her taking a sip of wine to hide her thoughts. She was beautiful, classy, cold and distant, who has never been able to be a mother. Sho often thought that Jun chose him to punish her. Years were passed and their relationship was worse, without his father they probably wouldn’t see each other today.
Sho couldn’t say he liked her, she was so harsh with him, but he couldn’t help finding her pathetic. She resumed the conversation.
“However, you’re sharp enough to understand it, Sakurai-kun. I know we’re not friends or members of a family…pardon me, I worked enough against this. But I wanted to tell you one thing. I never struggled against you because you were a man or the man you are. I always thought, perhaps was I wrong, that he couldn’t be happy in the life he chose. He never said he wanted children, but I know he would be a great father.”
Sho felt for the very first time a point of sympathy for her and he decided to help her, a little bit.
“You’re right. He wants children.”
“So…perhaps won’t he do the same mistakes if he has the chance to raise children one day. That’s what every parent wish for his child, isn’t it?”
“Only the parents who cares about their child, Matsumoto-san.”
“Thanks…Sho-kun.”
She smiled to her husband and gave instruction to the butler for the rest of the dinner.
- * -
Sho felt his phone vibrating and went out to take the so awaited call.
“Nino?”
“I’m sorry, Senpai.”
“Where are you?”
“With Masaki.”
“…”
“Are you angry about what I said the last time?”
“I’m…honestly I’m just angry. I have the feeling to be wrong since the beginning, I have the feeling that you fooled me.”
“Never, I never fooled you!”
“I have to see you.”
“…are you with him?”
“I’m eating with his parents.”
“I’ll leave you.”
“That’s what you wished, right?”
“I know.”
“Nino…tell me this situation is unbearable, just like it is for me and I stop it.”
“Forgive me, Senpai. Good bye.”
Sho felt the urge to throw his phone on the wall. He was not fit for treachery, for lies, or leading a double life…
“Who was it?” Jun was behind him.
“It was for work.”
“Your trainee?”
“He’s journalist now, but yeah, it was him, Nino.”
“We’re going back home. I did my duty for this week.”
“Ok. Let me say goodbye to your parents.”
“I wait for you.”
- * -
“Do you ever think about the time we met?” asked Sho, sitting on the couch facing Jun.
“No, not really.” Jun didn’t raise his gaze from his table.
“I do. Lately especially…I wonder what would happen if we didn’t meet.”
Jun turned the spoon in his tea, his eyes lost. They came back from his parents’ house a couple of hours ago and it was the first words they exchanged.
There was a strange electric atmosphere in the air, an awkward silence. They couldn’t deny that something happened during Jun’s travel but they couldn’t put words on it.
Sho sat on an armchair and put an arm around his knees. He felt tired, lost, like a boxer who ignores why he is still on the ring. He wanted Nino, even if Nino didn’t really want him, he wanted to spare Jun, even if he would hurt him, but he couldn’t find the peace of mind to make up his mind. And if he had meet Nino rather than Jun?
“I’m sure you would have meet a girl and today you would have tons of children.” Said Sho, thinking about his step-mother.
“Stop it with this.”
“I’m sincere. If I didn’t hit on you so hard, do you think we would be together today?”
“…”
“Your parents will have found you some omiai and you’d be probably happy.”
Jun raised his gaze on him and looked at Sho straightforwardly with anger.
“Why do I have the feeling you’re blaming me for something?” hissed the architect.
“Sorry, I had a shitty day.”
He wanted to say that his heart was broken, that he discovered that he was just a pastime for Nino and right now he was surely making love to another man. But of course, it was impossible.
“It’s just…I think I didn’t ease your life. You struggled so much against your mother for them to admit that we’re together and you’re so miserable because you can’t have the life you want. Don’t you think we were wrong since the beginning?”
Jun stood up suddenly, baffled by Sho’s sentence.
“You don’t have the right to say we’re wrong. I fought too much to admit we are wrong.”
“Jun, it’s not a question of pride. Everybody is changing, evolving. “
“I…We weren’t wrong.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“End of the discussion.”
“One day, we’ll have to discuss about it.”
“Not now.”
Sho clenched his jaws to stop the anger and the frustration he felt. He opened his mouth to argue, but seeing Jun’s closed face, he changed his mind and exited the house. He straddled his Moto and drove to Tokyo to spend the night at Ohno’s place.
He welcomed him unsurprised and Sho figured out that he already prepared a blanket for the couch.
“You’re waiting for someone?”
“I guessed you would be at my door one day. With whom did you fight?”
“Both.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Good. I’m exhausted. Last night was so crazy…I have to sleep.”
Sho laughed and turned off his phone then laid on the couch to find some sleep.
- * -
He had breakfast with Ohno, then they headed to the journal.
“Could you see the printer for me?” asked Satoshi by the middle of the morning.
“…Sure. When?”
“Now. And I treat you for lunch, I know you have plenty of things to tell. I found a new familial restaurant, you’ll love it.”
“Send me the address. 1PM?”
“1:30, it will be quiet.”
“Ohno?”
“Yeah?”
“Nino comes today?”
“He should be there.”
“Why are you sending me so far?”
“I don’t want to see you playing Romeo and Juliet in my editorial room.”
He was right. Surely.
Sho took his stuff and went to the printer’s shop then to the restaurant Ohno waited for him.
He arrived before the appointed time to the little shop in a quiet area. He raised the little curtain at the entrance then checked his phone. No messages.
He focused his attention on the counter where he recognized a familiar silhouette.
Aiba?
He never thought about the job he could do. Strange, he saw him as teacher or artist, since he was Nino’s boyfriend. He was so jealous suddenly, he wondered why his dear boss had the strange idea to meet him here.
Aiba didn’t notice him and Sho took the time to observe him. The cook was smiling as he was working, talking to the customers. Each time he ran into him Aiba was dark and hostile; it was strange to see him so happy. Was it the face he had when he was with Nino?
“Daddy!” said a child voice from the back of the shop and a little girl barged into the room, a tiny boy behind her.
“Chin-chan ate my drawing!”
She faced Aiba, her hands on her hips, his index pointed to the baby. Aiba crouched and smiled to the children.
“It was certainly a too beautiful drawing, honey.”
“But he doesn’t have the right to eat my drawings.”
“True. You’re right. And if mommy learned that your brother ate paper, she will be very angry, so we will not tell her.”
“Lying is bad, Daddy.”
“Yes, lying is bad.” Asserted Aiba then he raised his gaze on the man who faced him.
“I should be saying that to you,” Murmured Sho angrily, but high enough for Aiba to hear it.
Author: WendyJoly
Pairing : Sakumiya/ Sakumoto
Length : chaptered
Beta : My precious
chibipinkpetalsGenre : Music, sex and love
Disclaimer : I own nothing but Arashi surely owns my soul
Summary : Sho Sakurai and Jun Matsumoto live together since seven years and their life sounds to be perfectly organized…too well-organized according Sho’s opinion. When Sho’s Boss hires a new trainee and entrusts him, it’s a real Earthquake for the journalist…
PART VII
“I’m confused…”
“What about?” smiled Sho placing his wet palm against Nino’s forehead, pulling him more against his torso.
Nino moved his legs, creating a warm wave around them in the bathtub. He took all his time to answer, closing his eyes to appreciate his lover’s sweetness.
“About the fact that tomorrow is our last day together.”
“It will not be our last day together, Nino.”
“You know what I mean.”
Jun would come back by the last flight tomorrow and they couldn’t ignore that their relationship was an affair that needed to be hidden. Sho didn’t really come back home since a few days and their week somehow looked like a holiday. It was amazing.
Delectable to wake up together, to eat in silence, enjoying the sweetness of the moment, to make love a last time before going back to the world…luscious to crave for the others all day long, enjoying this sweet frustration knowing it won’t last for long.
Delightful were those nights so full of amorous discovery and endless marvels. So much that they didn’t speak Jun’s name, too evocative and painful.
“Yes, I know what you mean, so tell me.”
“I was wondering what would be the best. Stay together until the very last moment and that you leave this place to go find him or saying good bye tomorrow morning and you wait for him at home…your home.”
“Nino…this is not a choice.”
“It is.”
“Which would be less painful? None of them, so it’s not a choice.”
“So, what are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know what I could do tomorrow, if it’s your question. When he left, we promised to do everything to fix our couple. Today, I’m in your arms and sleeping elsewhere is killing me, do you think I still have the choice?”
“…”
“I’ll break up with him.”
“No!” Nino suddenly straightened to face him.
“No?!” Sho stared at him, incredulously.
“No, it’s out of question! And what will you do if you leave him?”
“We’ll be together, openly.”
“And you’d feel guilty.”
“We can’t have anything!”
“You can have everything.”
“Yeah, half of everything, nothing completely.”
“I don’t want.”
“Don’t you want us to be together?”
“The way we’re together currently is fine for me.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Not at all. I’m not like him, I’m not ‘reliable’. I can’t give you what he gives you.”
“What? What does he give me?”
“Stability.”
“Stability?”
“Emotional and financial. You said it, he’s a reliable man.”
“I don’t care about this…don’t you understand? A love relationship has nothing to do with some value. What he gives to me VS what you give to me?! It’s madness…who do you think I am, crap! I fuck you and I go back home quietly?”
“Precisely.”
He sounded to be deadly serious. Sho opened his mouth to argue back, then closed it seeing his lover’s fragile look.
“Tell me you don’t love him.” Whispered Nino, gazing at him straight in the eyes.
“There’s something else.”
“You’re gonna leave a man you’ve love for years for a man you barely know, who loves to be manhandled?”
“You’re the one that I want.”
“And you have me. Body and soul.”
“I don’t understand you. We…how could we do that?”
“We’ll keep on stealing moments, to enjoy our secret. And…”
“And?”
“I have someone too.”
“I tend to forget this, true.” Hissed Sho bitterly.
Nino kissed his pout and placed his hands around Sho’s neck, straddling him.
“I want the best for you. And if I have to share you, I’m ready to accept it.”
“I can’t. It’s unfair, for everybody.”
“Just a little bit, please. See where we’re heading.”
“Nino. Nino, you driving me crazy, you know?” murmured Sho losing himself once again in his caresses, a taste of jealousy on the tip of his tongue, before trying to stand up when he felt the usual concupiscence inside his stomach. Nino grabbed his wrist to keep him.
“Stay.”
“We can’t use a condom in the water and you already know that I can’t resist with you.”
“Come.” Said Nino with a husky voice, resuming his position and his kisses. “Like that.” He susurrated at Sho’s ear, taking their two cocks in his hand, caressing them languidly. The journalist let himself go against him, enjoying his blissful look then kissing his lips. He watched the hypnotic vein at the base of his neck which was pulsing, putting his lips on it, then his teeth stronger and stronger, hearing only Nino’s scream quickly turned into a moan of pleasure as they climaxed together.
They didn’t sleep this night, didn’t talk, letting their bodies speak, a feeling of nostalgia anticipating their separation.
Sho was laid on his stomach, caressing with the tip of his thumb Nino’s collarbone, touching the scarlet mark he left.
“Excuse me, I don’t know happened to me…does it hurt?”
“Don’t apologize.” Smirked Nino facing him. “I’m pretty happy. Happy you marked me.”
“It was not my intention.”
“Of course it was, Senpai. Kiss me, it’s almost the hour.”
♦♥♦
Jun didn’t contact Sho on that following day, and he presumed that he should be on his flight back. Strangely, the idea to see him again didn’t move him at all. He was more shocked by Nino’s behavior earlier.
It was totally insane. He didn’t have any experience in adultery but he always had the strange idea that a lover wanted to live openly his love relationship rather than hide it behind closed doors. But Nino was like no one and Sho had never been so destabilized in his life. It was so far from what he imagined.
Jun would notice that something happened during his absence, obviously. He wouldn’t hide it and come what may, Sho would confess the truth. As for the rest, it was pretty evident, Nino went out all day long for an interview, maybe on purpose for him to be alone – or with Masaki, whispered the little devil on his shoulder.
How could he be so exclusive, devoted…in love…and ask him to go with another man?
The only reason that Sho believes as to why Nino did not want him to leave Jun, was that maybe, Nino just wanted to be with Masaki, and he was okay with him for Sho to love another one at his ease.
Yet, as crazy as it sounds, him, the unfaithful man, was revolted to leave him to someone else. If he was sick of it before, today he was infuriated.
And not see him before coming back home was impossible, absolutely impossible. He couldn’t get enough of him, he couldn’t get enough to say how much he was essential to his life now, how much seeing him with another man tortured him.
“Jun comes back tonight?” tried Ohno as Sho was calling Nino once again, in vain.
“Yeah.”
“Are you calling him? Are you worried?”
“No, I’m not calling him, he should be in his plane now.”
“I see…”
“Call him, he will answer!” Said Sho handing the phone to Ohno.
“Are you out of mind? Don’t involve me in your problems, if he doesn’t want to talk to you, he surely has a good reason. Don’t you think it’s normal, since your man comes back today?”
“He drives me crazy, egotist and jealous…I’m scared to death.” Sho put the phone on his desk back.
“This is the joy of love, buddy, and I’m so happy to be single…”
“Don’t mock me.”
“But I want to mock you. Leave Nino alone and go to Jun. That’s the best thing to do for the time being.”
“I told him I wanted to be with him, to break up with Jun.
“And?”
“He refused. He wants to be the hidden lover…and enjoy his boyfriend, I guess.”
“I see.” Ohno nodded seriously.
“Stop it with your ‘I see’, I don’t have a clue about what’s in his mind, so go on, explain to me.”
“No.”
“No?!”
“No, you have to understand by your own, it’s more instructional.”
“Are…are you kidding on me?!” shouted Sho when he saw his boss walking to his office.
The journalist took his bag and left the editorial room hastily. He didn’t think further and drove to Nino’s loft. He didn’t care about what could happen, he just couldn’t leave things this way.
Nino’s car wasn’t parked there and the quays were deserted. He retrieved the key, hidden in a hole into the wall and dialed the code.
The room was engulfed by the sun sipping through windows and it was like when he left that morning. It was the first time he was alone in there and without the captivating presence of his lover he had the feeling to perceive the loft differently. The loft area gave off a nostalgic scent. He would have never thought that it was a deceased man house, probably mourned where nothing has changed. Not the pictures on the wall, not the Italian coffee maker on the big oven with six fires. And all those guitars.
Sho smiled and touched an instrument with several bullet holes. He would ask Nino what his story was behind this.
He went to the big desk on the other side of the room and opened the wooden curtain which covered it, finding some photo books. Nino at school, at Los Angeles, but alone on each photo, never smiling, gloomy for the biggest part.
A red pen like the one he had at the university attracted his look. A memory of how once his father had given him one of this pen since the kinder garden for each anniversary…this librarian loved his books and it was his way to cheer his son up.
“Are you here for a lesson?” Said a husky voice behind him. Sho turned back suddenly, surprised to see an old man taking off his hat and his coat to hang them on the coat-hanger at the entrance.
He stared at him, dumbfounded walking to him.
Wrinkled, strong despite his little silhouette, he reminded him someone definitely.
“I beg your pardon?” asked the man.
“Excuse me, I didn’t answer. Are you looking for someone?”
“You’re waiting a guitar lesson, isn’t it? You’re a friend of Kazunari? A Senpai from high school?”
“I’m his Senpai, true….from the university though…”
“He talks about you all day long!”
“I don’t think, excuse me…I only know him since…”
“Sit down, boy. I’m too old to stand here and I feel dizzy.” Smiled the old man, taking a guitar on his rack, naturally putting it on his knees.
He scratched the strings automatically and Sho felt his heart skipping a beat, he sat on the couch. Obviously, he was Nino’s dad, Nino’s deceased dad…?
“Do you want me to tell the moment I met Ray Charles?”
“You met Ray Charles?”
“Hm…what a man…a little bit too weak with women on my opinion. And on booze too…no need to talk about drug…what do you want to hear? A good old rock?”
“Dad?”
Sho raised his gaze on the new incomer who sounds totally lost. Nino was with Masaki and his eyes went from one man to the other.
“Oh, Masaki-kun is here too!” Said the old ma and Masaki took his hand immediately.
“Ninomiya-san, how are you?”
“Fine, fine…and you? You’re a real man now! How long since the last time?”
“We met last week, Kazunari was here too, do you remember?”
“Certainly, certainly, give me a second…last week you said?”
“Yes, at home.”
“Dad, why are you here? How did you get here?” whispered Nino crouching at the old man’s feet.
“With a cab, what the Hell! I’m not crazy, I can’t take my car!”
“I have your car, Dad. You shouldn’t come here, you could have lost your way…”
“Lose my way? This is my place here! And I have lessons to give today, who’s gonna pay the university for you if I don’t work, hm, could you tell me?”
“Dad, I’m graduated a couple years ago.”
“Rubbish!”
Nino went to Masaki and talked into his ear. The taller went out, his phone still in his hand. The guitarist took an instrument and sat, facing his father.
“Play with me, Dad.”
The old man stood still for a moment then relaxed gradually as his hands went back to the guitar. He followed his son’s lead and Sho’s breath caught in his throat, listening those two genius players playing a jazzy melody they surely knew by heart.
The old man closed his eyes and Masaki came back, waving Nino. This latter nodded.
When the song ended, he opened his eyelids and smiled happily, tears wetting his tired eyes. Nino put back his guitar on the rack.
“Dad…you have to come back.”
His father smirked gently.
“I know, son. I know. Bring me back.”
“Ma-chan will come with us.”
“Good. It was a pleasure to meet you.” He shook Sho’s hand.
“Me too, Ninomiya-san.”
Nino’s father put back the guitar cautiously, put back his hat on his head, his coat and took Masaki’s arm to go out.
“Why are you here?” Shouted Nino when they were alone.
“I wanted to see you. Nino, what’s this?”
“This what?”
“Your father. You said he was dead.”
“He is. His brain is dead. Sometimes he comes back, but it never last for long.”
“He’s ill?”
“Alzheimer.”
“You came back for him? To take care of him?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Nino, don’t close the door. I can help you.”
“Who asked you for help? I already have Masaki.”
Sho swallowed painfully. He wanted to scream.
“What am I for you?”
“A booty call. Now, excuse me I have to drive back my father to the hospital.”
He showed him the way to go out. Sho put his jacket back and went out like an automat. Masaki and Nino’s father were already sat into the car, waiting for him.
“Nino?”
But he didn’t answer, didn’t look at him and got into the car as his boyfriend started the engine. Sho stood still for a few minutes, motionless, thinking about what just happened. It changed a lot of things.
So it was true, he never intended to let him enter his life. It was insane. What was this? His father was ill and he took care of him…he took care of him with Masaki. And him? He just wanted to have fun, forgetting for a few hours his sorrows with a stranger who ignored his life. He thought they could become a couple, what a ridiculous ideal he had let himself believe.
Sho blamed himself to have been so naïve once again, hating his fucking romanticism which made him see a love story in a glaucous sex affair. Even if it has been the best time of his life. What he felt for him, this alchemy between them, it couldn’t have been faked, right?
He hailed a cab and gave his address. Anyway, he couldn’t come back to the journal now.
He was still on the road when his phone rang.
“Mochi mochi?”
“Sho, it’s me, can you pick me up?”
“Jun? You’re already at Narita?”
“We took a flight earlier.”
His voice was tired and tensed, no wonder after a so long flight.
“Wait for me, I’m on my way.”
He gave the new address to the driver and less than an hour they were at the airport. Night was already falling but the airport was still overcrowded. Sho put his hands into his pocket and looked around. Near a kiosk, his companion was chatting passionately with a small woman. She was on the verge of explosion, her fists clenched and her gaze determinate. What Jun did to her?
He decided to rescue the damsels in distress and stood by her side.
Jun leaped when he saw him.
“Oh, you’re here.”
“Hello, Jun. You must be Oshima-san.” He smiled to the woman he guessed to be the famous colleague.
“Exactly. Excuse me my outfit is a mess after this endless flight. Yuko Oshima.”
“Sakurai Sho.”
She observed him from head to toe slowly and she flinched perceptibly.
“You’re…you’re really good-looking.”
Sho burst out laugh.
“Thanks. You’re cute too.”
“Come, I’m tired.” Jun grabbed his wrist and dragged him till the exit.
“Do you want to dinner with us?” he said to the young woman.
“No, thanks.”
She turned tail without a good bye and Sho followed Jun’s lead.
“It was not very polite.” Whispered Sho once into the cab.
“We fight for nothing and she was vexed, I will apologize tomorrow. But…we didn’t see each other for three weeks and that’s all you have to say?” smiled Jun patting his thigh.
“Sorry. Okaeri.”
“Tadaima.”
“How was it?”
“Exhausting. I’m happy to be home.”
Sho looked outside the scenery in a blur, unable to find two words to say.
Once the threshold passed, Sho knew that nothing really changed. They didn’t talk during the way back and Sho quickly understood that the discussion time was over.
Jun left for three weeks after a night of love and the promise to take a new start for their couple, but today Sho had the feeling that it was only a dream. Jun had hung his vest at the entrance and once in the living room he had find back his usual wordlessness.
“I’m tired, I go to bed.”
Why wasn’t he really surprised? Why was he relieved? Sho tried to keep him a moment.
“You just said we didn’t see each other since three weeks and once home you run to bed? Are you hungry?”
“I ate on the plane.”
“Do you want to talk?”
“No, I don’t, I’m unable to make a proper sentence.”
“I won’t be offended if you yawn, you know.”
“Tomorrow, you want? By the way, dinner at my parent’s place tomorrow.”
“Jun? Something’s happened in London?”
“Nothing, of course, the routine that’s all.”
“You sound to be preoccupied.”
“I sound to be half asleep.”
Jun smirked and pecked Sho’s cheek, then vanished.
They had to eat with their parents tomorrow?
He knew it. They didn’t see him during three weeks, it can’t be helped. Sho didn’t argue and left his companion going to bed.
Nothing changed and obviously the good resolutions stayed on the airports’ tarmac.
A few months ago, Sho wouldn’t have been surprised by this behavior, but that was before. How could he only imagine seeing Nino after a separation and don’t feel the need to hold him tight, to make love to him? Was he now too demanding and spoiled?
He had always been the only one in their couple starved of tenderness and Jun told him he was too emotional, sensual…he embarrassed him. It was his way to avoid any physical contact out of their bed. But it was before Nino…Nino who looked for his caresses and knew how to obtain them.
He turned on his phone and left a nth message to the man of his thoughts, asking him to call, knowing he wouldn’t, then he slept on the couch to not wake Jun up.
When he woke up, Jun was already gone, a note on the table with the appointment time waited for him.
Sho tried to not think about Nino, blaming their journalist work which allowed them to spend their days outside. Ohno didn’t ask anything, Sho’s gloomy air was enough to make him understand that something was wrong in the Matsumoto and Sakurai world.
- * -
He went back home to change his outfit, he couldn’t eat with his step-parents if he didn’t wear a suit.
When the butler opened the door, Sho heard some noise coming from the little library near the kitchen. He recognized his companion’s and his step-mother’s voice. It was unusual enough to pick his curiosity. They didn’t get along, but they never raised the voice in each other’s presence.
Matsumoto-san greeted him and dragged him discreetly to the living room.
It was a beautiful house, a dreamy house for this librarian’s son. Jun has been raised in a privileged surrounding and it has been one of the difficulties they had to get through when they met. Jun was a rich spoiled child and Sho had made his place alone, without help. Sho vaguely looked the piano where tenth golden frames displayed Jun’s pictures.
“You should be surprised to hear them talking so loud.” Began Jun’s father with his natural diplomacy.
“Jun is angry?”
“His mother invited a couple of friends and she told him that their daughter would be here too. Apparently Jun knows her.”
“He dislike her?”
“It seems. Whiskey?”
“Please.”
“I think I’m going to take one too, we’ll need it.”
Sho took the drink and the two opponents joined them, a serein look on their faces. It was insane the way they could hide their feelings, thought Sho. Would they be able to pout if they were burnt?
He went to Jun after a brief bow to his step-mother and tried to know what happened.
“What’s happening?”
“She invited Oshima.” Answered briefly Jun.
“Oshima? Your colleague?”
“She’s the daughter of my fathers’ colleague.”
“You knew?”
“Not at the beginning. That’s why we fought yesterday. When she told me.”
“And what’s the problem, you don’t care.”
“…It was dishonest. She should have told me.”
“I see. You mother wants to marry you.”
“I guess. She surely was thrilled when she heard that she was part of the London delegation.”
“It’s not the first time she tries. Do as you usually do.”
“What do I usually do?”
“You’re…yourself.”
“Oi, what does it mean?”
“It means you’re scary and cold when you want.”
“I’m gonna do this. Be me.”
“Good.”
Sho wasn’t even able to be angry with his step-mother. It was mean …or tactless if you were nicer. She was so talented to forget that his son lived with a man thinking he just waited the woman of his life.
The famous family appeared soon and like always, Matsumoto mother introduced Sho as a “friend of his son”.
Yuko was pretty and elegant and Sho understood what she meant yesterday at the airport. Even if he was so far to appreciate the woman’s charm he couldn’t help but admitting she could content the pickiest of man. She greeted Sho, embarrassed, apologizing for the previous day and the fact that she had to come to this dinner. Mrs Matsumoto barged into the conversation and asked to the young woman to take a sit by Jun’s side.
She placed Sho by her side, probably to keep an eye on him.
Sho stared at his companion and Yuko talking joyfully, laughing together, wondering amused where his battle plan was gone. They shared so many thing the both of them. The same job, the same social rank and cultural, no wonder they got along so well.
“They get along really well, isn’t it?” Whispered his neighbour to Sho.
“I beg your pardon?” He turned to face her.
“My son and Yuko-chan. They are architect, love classical music and their families are friends.”
“You’re totally right.” Said Sho quietly.
“Really?”
“I’m not blind, Matsumoto-san. I can see how much they are assorted.”
“So, let him get married, having a family, children.”
Sho stared at her a few seconds, astonished to not read the usual disdain in her eyes, just the request of a woman searching for his child’s happiness.
“It’s not as simple as that.” Murmured Sho gently.
“I know, but if you could leave him for his own good…”
“He wouldn’t choose this woman, or even a woman.”
“I’ll help him.”
“I’m sure of it, Matsumoto-san. I’m not judging you and if I was sure that he would be happy with Oshima, I’ll do my best to push him. But I think that Jun~”
“He hates me, that’s what you mean? You think he will do his best to not satisfy me, to punish me to be a so pitiful mother for him?”
“I…sincerely I don’t know.” Confessed Sho.
She smiled tiredly and Sho saw her taking a sip of wine to hide her thoughts. She was beautiful, classy, cold and distant, who has never been able to be a mother. Sho often thought that Jun chose him to punish her. Years were passed and their relationship was worse, without his father they probably wouldn’t see each other today.
Sho couldn’t say he liked her, she was so harsh with him, but he couldn’t help finding her pathetic. She resumed the conversation.
“However, you’re sharp enough to understand it, Sakurai-kun. I know we’re not friends or members of a family…pardon me, I worked enough against this. But I wanted to tell you one thing. I never struggled against you because you were a man or the man you are. I always thought, perhaps was I wrong, that he couldn’t be happy in the life he chose. He never said he wanted children, but I know he would be a great father.”
Sho felt for the very first time a point of sympathy for her and he decided to help her, a little bit.
“You’re right. He wants children.”
“So…perhaps won’t he do the same mistakes if he has the chance to raise children one day. That’s what every parent wish for his child, isn’t it?”
“Only the parents who cares about their child, Matsumoto-san.”
“Thanks…Sho-kun.”
She smiled to her husband and gave instruction to the butler for the rest of the dinner.
- * -
Sho felt his phone vibrating and went out to take the so awaited call.
“Nino?”
“I’m sorry, Senpai.”
“Where are you?”
“With Masaki.”
“…”
“Are you angry about what I said the last time?”
“I’m…honestly I’m just angry. I have the feeling to be wrong since the beginning, I have the feeling that you fooled me.”
“Never, I never fooled you!”
“I have to see you.”
“…are you with him?”
“I’m eating with his parents.”
“I’ll leave you.”
“That’s what you wished, right?”
“I know.”
“Nino…tell me this situation is unbearable, just like it is for me and I stop it.”
“Forgive me, Senpai. Good bye.”
Sho felt the urge to throw his phone on the wall. He was not fit for treachery, for lies, or leading a double life…
“Who was it?” Jun was behind him.
“It was for work.”
“Your trainee?”
“He’s journalist now, but yeah, it was him, Nino.”
“We’re going back home. I did my duty for this week.”
“Ok. Let me say goodbye to your parents.”
“I wait for you.”
- * -
“Do you ever think about the time we met?” asked Sho, sitting on the couch facing Jun.
“No, not really.” Jun didn’t raise his gaze from his table.
“I do. Lately especially…I wonder what would happen if we didn’t meet.”
Jun turned the spoon in his tea, his eyes lost. They came back from his parents’ house a couple of hours ago and it was the first words they exchanged.
There was a strange electric atmosphere in the air, an awkward silence. They couldn’t deny that something happened during Jun’s travel but they couldn’t put words on it.
Sho sat on an armchair and put an arm around his knees. He felt tired, lost, like a boxer who ignores why he is still on the ring. He wanted Nino, even if Nino didn’t really want him, he wanted to spare Jun, even if he would hurt him, but he couldn’t find the peace of mind to make up his mind. And if he had meet Nino rather than Jun?
“I’m sure you would have meet a girl and today you would have tons of children.” Said Sho, thinking about his step-mother.
“Stop it with this.”
“I’m sincere. If I didn’t hit on you so hard, do you think we would be together today?”
“…”
“Your parents will have found you some omiai and you’d be probably happy.”
Jun raised his gaze on him and looked at Sho straightforwardly with anger.
“Why do I have the feeling you’re blaming me for something?” hissed the architect.
“Sorry, I had a shitty day.”
He wanted to say that his heart was broken, that he discovered that he was just a pastime for Nino and right now he was surely making love to another man. But of course, it was impossible.
“It’s just…I think I didn’t ease your life. You struggled so much against your mother for them to admit that we’re together and you’re so miserable because you can’t have the life you want. Don’t you think we were wrong since the beginning?”
Jun stood up suddenly, baffled by Sho’s sentence.
“You don’t have the right to say we’re wrong. I fought too much to admit we are wrong.”
“Jun, it’s not a question of pride. Everybody is changing, evolving. “
“I…We weren’t wrong.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“End of the discussion.”
“One day, we’ll have to discuss about it.”
“Not now.”
Sho clenched his jaws to stop the anger and the frustration he felt. He opened his mouth to argue, but seeing Jun’s closed face, he changed his mind and exited the house. He straddled his Moto and drove to Tokyo to spend the night at Ohno’s place.
He welcomed him unsurprised and Sho figured out that he already prepared a blanket for the couch.
“You’re waiting for someone?”
“I guessed you would be at my door one day. With whom did you fight?”
“Both.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Good. I’m exhausted. Last night was so crazy…I have to sleep.”
Sho laughed and turned off his phone then laid on the couch to find some sleep.
- * -
He had breakfast with Ohno, then they headed to the journal.
“Could you see the printer for me?” asked Satoshi by the middle of the morning.
“…Sure. When?”
“Now. And I treat you for lunch, I know you have plenty of things to tell. I found a new familial restaurant, you’ll love it.”
“Send me the address. 1PM?”
“1:30, it will be quiet.”
“Ohno?”
“Yeah?”
“Nino comes today?”
“He should be there.”
“Why are you sending me so far?”
“I don’t want to see you playing Romeo and Juliet in my editorial room.”
He was right. Surely.
Sho took his stuff and went to the printer’s shop then to the restaurant Ohno waited for him.
He arrived before the appointed time to the little shop in a quiet area. He raised the little curtain at the entrance then checked his phone. No messages.
He focused his attention on the counter where he recognized a familiar silhouette.
Aiba?
He never thought about the job he could do. Strange, he saw him as teacher or artist, since he was Nino’s boyfriend. He was so jealous suddenly, he wondered why his dear boss had the strange idea to meet him here.
Aiba didn’t notice him and Sho took the time to observe him. The cook was smiling as he was working, talking to the customers. Each time he ran into him Aiba was dark and hostile; it was strange to see him so happy. Was it the face he had when he was with Nino?
“Daddy!” said a child voice from the back of the shop and a little girl barged into the room, a tiny boy behind her.
“Chin-chan ate my drawing!”
She faced Aiba, her hands on her hips, his index pointed to the baby. Aiba crouched and smiled to the children.
“It was certainly a too beautiful drawing, honey.”
“But he doesn’t have the right to eat my drawings.”
“True. You’re right. And if mommy learned that your brother ate paper, she will be very angry, so we will not tell her.”
“Lying is bad, Daddy.”
“Yes, lying is bad.” Asserted Aiba then he raised his gaze on the man who faced him.
“I should be saying that to you,” Murmured Sho angrily, but high enough for Aiba to hear it.
